Give Up The Ghost
by nyxie9
Summary: To die in a submissive, peaceful fashion; or to die quickly, with finality, often brutally. Part 4.5 of my series focusing on Dean and Mae Singer. It start directly after The Truth Between You and Me and will focus on Season 2 and 3.
1. Chapter 1

Give Up the Ghost

Just a reminder, this isn't a standalone piece. You should probably read the other pieces first. I've put handy dandy links to each story on my profile page. There's a lot of background information in the previous parts, starting with The Mercy of Fortune. I hope you enjoy the next installment.

Disclaimers: Standard disclaimers…I don't own anyone except Mae!

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

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><p>Dean and Sam had taken another job despite Dean not having finished his repairs. It wasn't the worst thing. Tensions were high between the boys, not in the fight about to break out way, but in a more subtle way as they both avoided fighting or expressing their genuine emotions around everything.<p>

Mae had managed to put a few cracks into the wall Dean had put up but she thought only by virtue of playing on every one of his sympathies. Not going with them to find the mystery woman who'd been trying to help John wasn't the worst thing. She missed Dean of course but in all honesty she had missed him since the accident.

The part that she disliked the most was being stranded at Bobby's. Not because she disliked the man and not even because they were both painfully uncomfortable with the situation but because she'd let so many people take control of things, leaving her at everyone else's mercy.

"Here." Bobby dropped a small stack of papers down in front of her on the desk. Mae's brow folded in confusion but she didn't jump when he startled her. "It's a job."

"A job?"

"You new here? It's something to do, get outta my hair."

Mae didn't even try to keep a passive face or disguise the grin that over took her. "You're offering me a job?"

There was a strange sort of giddiness in her eyes and he knew that this was a significant gesture for both of them. "You're drivin' me nuts and you need something constructive to do."

Eying the folder, she bit her lip a little. "Are you asking me to go with you?"

"No, I think you can handle this one on your own."

Her brow arched up. "Don't let it go to your head, honey. I just know that you can do it."

"Well, I appreciate it but uh, you know it's sort of undignified taking a bus to hunt down evil."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before lettin' your ride take off without you."

"Don't start on me. Can't you take satisfaction in knowing that you'd make better choices in my position."

"I'll take you home. It won't take more than half a day and we can both go back to being sane."

"Oh like you don't love me being here."

"You can stay as long as you want. But you've cleaned half the house so I know you're not loving it here."

"Well… yeah."

Bobby chuckled. "It's up to you honey, stay here and drive us both nuts or go home and start looking into this case."

It wasn't the most interesting trip across South Dakota and there was certainly a lack of things to say to each other. Mae had read through the papers Bobby gave her more times than she could count. It seemed like a standard haunting, one of those things that local legends were made out of but a recent rash of curious deaths brought it to Bobby's attention. And it was in Oregon so had she not decided to take it, he would have still have dropped her at home.

Waiting around at her own home would have been a step up in terms of comfort but like the boys, she'd had enough downtime. It hadn't been particularly relaxing downtime but it certainly wasn't work or play. A case of her own would be a good thing to occupy her mind and take her thoughts off of Dean.

To her surprise, she found herself a bit disappointed that Bobby was going off to work on his own thing. She'd grown used to having company, partners on the job. It wasn't because she needed help but having another set of hands, another person to bounce theories off of and someone just to talk to instead of all of the surface and superficial conversations a hunter had with people trying to get down to the truth of a case.

But he did leave her with a final, albeit worrisome statement. "Watch yourself if you take up with Dean an' Sam again."

"What do you mean?"

"I meant what I said to them; they stepped in some serious crap and I don't want you to get caught in the fallout just because you and Dean are all lovey dovey now."

She rolled her eyes but didn't dispute any of it. "I'll be careful."

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><p>Hours later, she laid out the case Bobby had given her and the research she'd pulled herself at her motel room. Somehow, it was going to be almost relaxing to simply focus on something that wasn't as emotionally wrought as the past few weeks had been. Almost. Relaxing wasn't quite the right term, she thought. It was grounding to work with one goal in mind. Simple, clean cut, and normal.<p>

As if sensing that her thoughts had quieted a bit, her phone rang. Seeing his name on the caller ID made her just a bit giddy. It seemed silly, strange and more than a little wonderful. Things were a little shaky between them, although she couldn't quite put a finger on the reason why. His father had died a little over a week ago so she didn't expect him to bounce back immediately.

It was why she let some of things that would have bothered her slide. That wasn't a conscious act, she realized; she just knew that she was a little softer when dealing with him lately. Her voice was a little syrupy sweet when she said hi. Under normal circumstances, he would have loved the sweetness. All the times they'd fought, all the years he's been pissed off with her, there had been that part of him that would have loved to hear that very tone in her voice. And every day after that…but today, it left him feeling lost.

"Hey Red. I've got a professional question to ask you."

Dean shook his head and could even imagine the peak of her eyebrow and sarcastic retort on the tip of her tongue.

"A professional question? Now just what profession are you talking about?"

A smirk ghosted over his lips but didn't come close to lighting up his eyes as he stared off out the window of the minivan outside of the latest no-tell motel he and Sam were staying at. "What I mean is…how much do you think dad didn't tell us about hunting?"

It made her frown a little, concerned and confused. "What do you mean?"

"Do you know a woman named Ellen?"

She paused. "Ellen Harvelle? Is that who left the message?"

"Yeah. You know her?"

"Well she runs a bar, the sort of place where if you do what we do, no one says much of anything about it."

"What else?"

"I don't know. She never over charged for beer. I think she has a daughter a couple years younger than us. It's not like we're the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants or anything."

"Okay." He thought for a second, just a second about telling her about hitting on Jo, mostly because he'd pulled back, he'd realized that not only was he not interested in his typical fling but he also knew it would hurt Mae.

"Are you okay?"

"I…" he considered biting back but he found that with Mae, he didn't exactly have the heart to do it. "I'm fine. I just don't know…I guess I'm feeling…not like myself."

Mae sat on the edge of the bed. "Well, I wish I could say something to make that go away."

"Me too. I miss you."

"I miss you too."

There was a pleasant silence, he though, between them. It was a nice to let things just be. Dean closed his eyes a moment. God, he wanted her to be there. He wanted to feel her slender fingers feather through his hair as he rested his head against her chest, listening to her heartbeat. He didn't want to be states apart, despite his protestations that he need to do this with his brother and he needed space.

He might have needed that but he wanted her. He wanted her to make it better. He felt distinctly uncomfortable having tried and failed to flirt with Jo. He didn't have any intention on making good on it had he felt.

"So…Ellen?" Mae continued.

"Yeah, she said she could help with the demon."

"Hmmm."

"What's that mean?"

"It doesn't mean anything Dean. It was just a thinky sound."

"What are you thinking about it?"

"Dude, ease up. I don't know what Ellen knows so I can't really weigh in on it, can I?"

"Yeah I guess. You know that Ash guy?"

"Yeah," she laughed, "he's hard to ignore."

To his surprise, he felt a strange swell of jealousy. "Did you sleep with him?"

"Oh my God!" Mae offered a sharp and incredulous laugh. "You do realize if we were in the same place, you woulda just been slapped up the back of your head, right? And if I did, it's so none of your business."

"Is that a yes?"

She sighed. "Moving on. What about him?"

Dean couldn't tell if she was telling him yes or no. However, he wasn't certain he would get a definite answer if he pushed, just a pissed off woman. So he took a breath. "He really a genius?

"He went to MIT."

"So he said and yet he was sleeping on a pool table when we found him."

"Like you've slept in exclusively ritzy titzy places. Sam went to Stanford. I went to Barnard. And you probably wouldn't be surprised to find either of us on a pool table."

"I guess. Barnard?"

"Yeah. Didn't I tell you that?"

"No. What…I don't know what kind of school that is."

"A Women's liberal art's college in New York. It's one of the Seven Sisters colleges."

Dean nodded, even knowing she couldn't see him, largely because he wasn't sure what all of them mean, expect that it was probably a big deal of some sort. "So anyway, this Ash kid says he can track the demon, using what dad put together, he can work some sort of geek magic and track it."

"If anyone can, Ash can."

"Good."

"That was your professional question? That was more than one question?"

"That was it."

"Well, okay. So what are you doing now?"

"We had some time to kill while Ash does his thing. So…we're hunting a clown."

He expected her to laugh but she sounded as serious as anything. "Oh you hunt every one of those last freaks down and make them hurt."

"What, you too? You hate clowns?"

"You don't? I've never thought you were crazy until you said that."

"Maybe you just saw It one to many times?"

"No sir, this is common sense."

This time his smile came with a little more ease and a little more genuine emotion. "How you holdin' up having' to spend so much time with Bobby? I'm not gonna come home to find you wearing a truck hat, am I?"

"Um," she said after an uncomfortably long pause, "I…I actually took a case too…so when you're done…I might not be there."

The silence that settled over the line was a little more apprehensive and filled with unspoken emotions. "Oh. I guess I thought you'd be there when we were done. I thought we'd finish the car together."

Mae supposed she could have given him a bit more of a heads up, knowing that he was feeling rather aimless and exposed. "Hey, you wrap up your job and I wrap up mine, we can meet back up at Bobby's and if we're lucky, we'll be able to find the demon, hunt him down and take care of him once and for all."

"I…" Dean wasn't sure what to say. He's pictured things differently and he hadn't considered that she would go off on her own.

"What?" There was the barest hint of accusation he though in her tone even though she'd only said one word.

She heard the hesitation in his voice, like he was weighing whether or not to continue. Dean pressed his tongue against his cheek. "I thought you said you'd wait for me. I though you wanted to make this work."

Her eyebrow arched up, disbelieving. "I'm fairly certain I did not say I'd wait for you. I said that I thought it was good for you to take this job and when it was done, we could start hunting again. That to me said that we were both trying."

"That doesn't exactly…I mean, maybe you'll just keep dodging me."

Her sigh was an exasperated one. "Okay, you realize that's crazy right? I told you I wanted to…whatever the hunter version of dating is, I wanna do that. But that doesn't mean that when you and your brother take off and specifically tell me that you need to do this together, that I'm going stare out the window and wait for you to come home and make my life real again."

"I never said—"

"I know that's not what you were saying but do you genuinely think that I'm remotely the sort of person who would just stay put? Do you think that I wasn't just driving Bobby crazy? C'mon."

Dean sighed. "I'm not trying to be…stubborn."

"No you're not, it's just a natural gift of yours. You don't have to try."

"I think I've got a right to be worried. We have gone out separate ways a few times since we've gotten back together."

"And we've come back together each time. Don't you think that actually gives me points in the direction of me not ditching you? I should be the one worried about you trying to slip out on me. Because in less than two weeks you've asked—no, told—me to sit out on the sidelines while you and Sam worked."

"Not without reason."

"Yeah, you've given reasons but you know, maybe if you had some backup…but that's not my point."

"What's your point?"

"This doesn't work for me if I'm just some girl you come back to after a hunt. I'm not going to stop doing this any more than you are and certainly not because you ask me too. I've stayed out of your…_family business_ but you don't have the marked on hunting cornered."

"Maybe there are some jobs that are better we don't do together." He conceded.

"Well maybe we shouldn't be together anymore!"

"Maybe we shouldn't."

It hung there, oddly and disconcertingly true. Mavis sighed. At some point, the annoyance and anger had built up and this was the opportunity it took to come out. She wasn't sure why she had said it except deep down, she knew something was wrong. Something was wrong with Dean and something was wrong with between them. Maybe it had been wrong since before his dad died. She knew that had taken its toll but she thought that given enough time, Dean would bounce back.

"Do you mean that?"

Temper had brought the statement out for her but Dean had time to think and respond some other way. He could have backed off or said something else and she was giving him another chance. "Yeah. Yeah I think maybe we need to rethink this."

"So…you wanted me to wait for you so you could break up with me?"

"No. No-I don't know what I…I don't know what I want. I just know that we…we don't need the hassle."

"The hassle? You think loving me is a hassle?"

"I can love you and not do this relationship thing. It's just too hard."

Mae just blinked, wondering what sort of parallel world she had stumbled into and why Dean was talking like this. While it didn't make total sense, there was a part of it that sounded almost right. Like maybe they had wound up back in each other's lives out of a sense of loyalty and nostalgia. Maybe that was running out and leaving them as a pair of people who were too similar to stay together.

"Well, God forbid you do something hard." With that, she hung up.

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><p>AN- Too much of a tease? I hope you like and will keep reading the upcoming chapters. Also, I've noticed that due to time restrictions, I'm publishing a lot of things right after I finish up a chapter so there tend to be some confusing errors when I go back and read what I've given you guys. So, if anyone who's kept up with the series would like to beta this chapter, drop me a note!


	2. Chapter 2

Give Up the Ghost Chapter 2

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><p>"Uh…aren't we going to Mae's?" Sam finally asked as they headed in the opposite direction.<p>

Mae's house wasn't that far from Red Lodge and Sam was more than happy to stay at her house rather than another yet another motel. He didn't quite consider it a second home but staying there meant more privacy for everyone involved. Sam also thought that maybe if his brother spent some time with Mae, he might unwind a bit and, heaven forbid, talk about what was bothering him.

"She won't want to see me."

"Why's that?"

He thought Sam's question sounded accusing but maybe that was just the voice in the back of his head. He hadn't called her since she hung up on him and they'd called things off. He could admit, at least to himself that it was only partially pride that kept him from trying to apologize or explain or do anything more than let the argument fester.

The other, more disturbing part was about reassuring himself that she was the one who didn't want to be together anymore. That she didn't want to be with him. She hadn't really pushed back and she certainly hadn't called him in two weeks now. He needed that reassurance because he was having trouble backing that up anywhere else but a twisted logic meant to keep her at arm's length. Dean missed Mae more than he anticipated.

"We—we're not…together anymore."

Sam looked at Dean like he was crazy. "You two broke up?"

"I guess you could call it that."

"Dude. You broke up with the girl you're crazy about who's pretty much perfect for you because…?"

Dean didn't answer right away. "It wasn't working out."

"Oh because you've had so much experience with relationships."

Dean scowled but he kept his eyes straight forward on the road. "What do you mean?"

"Relationship are work. Even without all the supernatural stuff, it's hard and it doesn't always just work out because you love each other but if you love each other, that's what keeps you together."

"Do you really think a relationship is really the best thing to do under the circumstances? Listen, she's a great girl but…I don't know, man, she doesn't deserve to get thrown into all this."

"It's not like you're springing this on her. She know what she's getting into and she doesn't seem like the sort of woman who's going to stop just because she's not dating you or because you tell her to stop."

"I'm not telling her to stop. If it were you and Jessica and she knew everything about you and still wanted to be with you, would you put her in danger just because you were in love?"

Sam wasn't entirely sure but there was one thing he knew for sure and that's what he told his brother. "If I had her back and if our situation was like you and Mae, I wouldn't turn her away for anything."

If the words got through to his brother, he wasn't sure because after a long silence, rather than a delayed response, Dean only turned the radio back up.

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><p>Her head throbbed but what was more prevalent was this feeling of fog, like cotton mouth in her brain. She wasn't even sure where she was. Pawing one of the nightstands that flanked the bed and then the other, she found a note pad indicating that she was waking up at the Sleep E-Z Motel. Mae scrubbed a hand over her face, trying to put things in order considering the fact that she remembered hunting a poltergeist, putting it down and going to sleep in a bed that was while in a not dissimilar motel, was in Oregon. Not New Mexico<p>

That wasn't exactly a walk around the park or down the block. There was at least a day that just wasn't there. As she sat up and took survey of the room, she decided the beer and liquor bottles scattered haphazardly in the kitchen area said it might be more. She might very well have gone on a bender she thought. Although, she didn't usually go on a multi-state one.

As she got out of bed, steadying herself for a moment, she made her way to the bathroom. She very much hated the experience of regarding herself in a mirror and not fully recognizing the person looking back at her. Sure, she was still herself, she hadn't done much more to herself than a night or two worth of heavy drinking. Not that she recalled any of that. She couldn't even pinpoint what was different aside from dehydration and perhaps lack of sleep.

She ran a hand through already messy hair and try as she might, there was nothing there after Oregon. Because she was feeling grimy and bewildered, she took a quick shower in hopes that it would give her a fresh outlook and feeling.

However, after showering and padding out of the bathroom to get dressed, she didn't find either her duffel bag or any of her clothes in the closet. She found clothes but they weren't her style, even playing a character, she was not the leather miniskirt or daisy duke sort of girl. Mae wasn't sure what to make of this; was she in someone else's room or during this missing time, had she gone on a skanky shopping spree.

"What the hell?"

Even stranger in her opinion was the fact that her things, her weapons and standard accoutrement of evil hunting gear was nowhere to be seen. As she looked around a little more, she realized that she also hadn't put down any protective items or anything else to indicate that she had taken any protective measures. All of this was very unlike her for a number of reasons. It didn't give her any real answers but it did let her know that this wasn't just in her head.

Sucking up her pride, she put on a pair of the all too short shorts and a halter top that was far too low cut for her liking but it was better than nothing. It was better than going naked, well almost better. She was guarded and more than a little paranoid as she made her way out of the motel room to the parking lot. Relief washed over her when she found her car in the parking lot, safe and intact.

All of her gear and far more comfortable clothes were safely stowed inside as well. At least there was that, she thought. Gathering almost everything she thought she might need, she all but ran back into her room. There she holed herself up trying to track herself down. She learned she was missing 5 days and as much as her actions that she could see didn't match her behavior, there was still enough of her in that missing time to make it particularly difficult to find her.

She spent about a day trying to figure out what had happened before she admitted to herself that she needed some help on this one. There were three people that came to mind, all with pros and cons to them. She could call Cal; he was probably the best person to track someone down but hunting wasn't his forte and if this was something supernatural, he wouldn't be much help in putting it down. There was Bobby; he had the hunting and tracking skills she needed but the thought of telling him even the little bits and pieces that she knew seemed painfully excruciating.

Then there was Dean. A few weeks ago, a few months ago, she wouldn't have thought twice about it. But now, after their rather confusing and stubborn fight, she wasn't excited about the prospect of calling him. But Dean and Sam were a formidable team; they had the knowledge and experience to be pretty valuable to her. And she could trust them. If it weren't for Dean…

All the same, after another span of deliberation with herself, she dialed the phone and let it ring two times before she hung up. She wasn't going to ask Dean for help, she decided. While it was slightly less embarrassing to call him as opposed to Bobby, it wasn't much better. She knew she needed help but God, she hated the thought of going to the people she would normally go to for it.

Unfortunately for her pride, a few moments later her phone rang. It was possible that it was someone else but her heart sank because she knew it was Dean calling her back. She ignored it. Her phone rang again. She knew the ring couldn't possibly sound more urgent but somehow it did. But again she ignored it.

Her phone then buzzed with a text message only to begin ringing a few minutes later. This time, because she knew it wouldn't stop, she picked up. "What?"

"What?" he repeated with an disbelieving tone in his voice. He was a little taken aback but mostly relieved that she picked up, "you called me."

"By mistake." She lied. A distinct knot was forming in her throat and threatening to break out with a strangled snivel. There was a voice in the back of her head that told her to hang up before he figured out that something was wrong with her. Of course, that would only tip him off more and she'd never get him to leave her alone if she did that this time.

Her words were terse and loaded, no matter what she was doing to cover it up. It worried him. After they spoke last, he assumed that Mae would simply be too pissed off to call him again. The very fact that she called him, even if were supposedly erroneously, wasn't a simple thing. Although he knew she hadn't called him by mistake. "Are you okay, Maeby?"

The question twisted deeper than it should have because there was real and genuine concern there. It was the old nickname and she knew that she should feel touched by him using that mash-up of 'Mae' and 'baby' that under other circumstances could just be interpreted as an indecisive 'maybe' but she was. And the list of responses ran through her head, from denial to a full out rambling explanation. What came out was nothing. She couldn't even vocalize her thoughts then.

"Mae, are you okay? I need you to give me a yes or no here."

"I don't know." she whispered.

"That's not an okay answer Mavis. Are you hurt? Do you need help?"

He sounded upset and it made everything that had transpired before feel worse. Neither of them had truly believed that calling things off was on account of either over their feelings for the other. Only now, expressing those emotions came with a bittersweet knowledge that voicing them or acting on them or anything related to them was almost hurtful.

"I don't remember."

"That's not clearing things up."

"No, I'm telling you what's wrong; I don't remember what's happened for the last 5 day and I can't put it back together."

Mae proceeded to fill him in on the parts she knew for sure and a few of the guesses she had so far. "Okay," Dean finally said, "Just stay there. Sam and I'll help put the rest together and we'll figure this out."

"You don't need to do that if you don't—"

"Stop right there. You need to know that no matter what, if you need anything from me, I'll do whatever it takes to give it to you. You know that, right?"

She shook her head, not that he could see or respond to it but the silence was more than enough to tell him that no, she wasn't aware of that. He had to admit that he could have been smoother when they broke things off but he hadn't expected her needing him or wanting anything to do with him after that. All the same, he would have done anything to help her.

"Well it's true Red and just stay where you are and we'll be there ASAP."

She didn't tell him that she wasn't sure that she could guarantee that she would stay put because she had no idea if she'd lose time again. Because she was cared though and because hurt feelings aside, she trusted him, she agreed.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

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><p>It took Dean and Sam the better part of the day—or rather night as it had been late when Mae had finally broken down to call Dean—to get to the motel she had told them she was staying. So it was around seven in the morning when they arrived at her front door.<p>

He felt a distinct chill ran down his spine and he was absolutely sure that he was about to go through hell. He'd never been under the illusion that dating her, that striking up a relationship with anyone whether or not they were a hunter, it wasn't going to be some sort of fairytale romance.

He had believed that it would have had a longer run but there was that moment it became too real. It wasn't that he didn't love her; no, he loved her too much, at least that was his rationale. It didn't solve anything though. Not being with her didn't seem to be keeping her safe and it didn't seem to be saving his sanity either.

It was with an unfamiliar sense of trepidation that he knocked on the door of her motel room. After a minute or so, she came to the door. There was the scuffing sound of the deadbolt being turned before the door opened, only as far as the chain allowed.

"Hey Red."

Her eyes narrowed a second as she took him in, seemingly evaluating if he was real or an illusion. The lanky redhead disappeared behind the door again followed by the rattle of the chain being undo. This time when the door opened, it opened wider.

She looked tired. He hated that sad, distant look that was in her eyes when she looked at him now. He had to admit, it was better even when she was mad because there was a spark and a life to those steely gray eyes. He didn't expect joy, happiness, or love when their eyes met this time but what he got now was worse.

Dean was on the verge of apologizing to her but his eyes drifted down and took in her outfit. He didn't even have the chance to stifle his laugh. "Who wears short shorts?" He teased with a mischievous grin.

It was then that her eyes went from sad to wide and panicked. There was a distinct pink that crept over her unusually pale cheeks. She hadn't said a single word to him, instead she simply slammed the door in his face. That wasn't the reaction he was expecting. Hell, he didn't know what he was expecting with her this time around. She did look delicious in that moment. Mae kept things simple...jeans, a t-shirt, a worn flannel thrown over the top. If she weren't so skinny, they probably could have shared a wardrobe. But that didn't bother him.

It had always been what she wore when they were growing up, aside from a few special occasion dresses and her school uniform, that was her style. This more exposed, maybe trashier look didn't look bad on her. To the contrary, it looked damn good on her. It didn't exactly suit her but she had legs for days, some very enticing tattoos on her ankles and thigh. And in the all too short time he got to take it in, she certainly seemed to fill out the halter top well enough.

When Mae opened the door, she was in her normal clothes and seemed a more composed this time. Her hair was still haphazardly askew, almost adorably so Dean thought. He leaned in the doorway, waiting for some sort of explanation from the woman. She only offered up a put upon sigh.

"Okay, what's the deal Mae?"

"With what?"

"With any of this." He hated when she had that elusive, 'looking for a fight' wall up. He understood it on some level and maybe she was still more pissed off than worried at this point. He'd be willing to take that for only so long.

"I told you on the phone that I didn't know. I still don't know. So..." she sighed again, "this is gonna weird."

"Yeah."

"Okay, so come in, I guess."

He reached out, touching her bare bicep. The unexpected contact made her jump a little. The muscle tensed under his arm but she didn't shirk away from his touch and despite the warmth that welled up in his belly that bothered him a bit, he didn't pull his hand back either. "Are you really okay? I mean really. You seem kind of...rough."

He watched as her eyes moved up to look over his face. He had no idea what she was looking for or what she found there but saw something very exposed in hers. Her posture softened as she appeared to find something that was good enough for whatever she needed. "I told you. I don't know what's going on and...and I can't figure out-I can't figure out where I've been let alone what's happening. So no, I'm okay. I was so worried that if I went to sleep last night, I wouldn't know when I'd wake up."

"I woulda helped to keep you awake."

"I don't want to have this fight right now but you know why that wasn't going to happen."

Whatever retort he might have made was lost as his brother came up behind him. "Hey Mae."

"Hey Sam."

He knew by the tight smile and sudden lack of conversation between the pair that he'd walked up at an inopportune moment but it couldn't be helped. His desire to get stuck in the middle of their romantic tiff wasn't particularly high even though he knew he wouldn't be spared from it entirely.

Mavis stood aside to let both men in her room. She'd tied up a bit since she'd gotten off the phone with Dean but because she had committed her self to staying in the motel room, there were still bags filled with the empty beer bottles and various trash she'd accumulated in her forgotten time. She was very grateful that neither said anything more about the state of the room or even hers.

She knew they were thinking it. She knew that Sam was approaching it from a more analytical stance and Dean was all heart and all emotion. To her surprise, the one thing she wanted was to let Dean pull her into a tight embrace. Neither of them were going to offer or accept that right then but God, if she didn't want all of the pretense and awkwardness that had arisen between them to dissolve. She wanted things to be normal again.

She dipped her head, letting her hair fall to hide the distinct emotion that crossed her face and she walked across the room back to her spot on the bed. Dean frowned after her. It wasn't just their fight that was bothering her. He was sure part of that accounted for her strange behavior but even his ego couldn't justify that she was so affected by that.

With little more discussion, the boys settled in at the table in the kitchen area. Mae gave them both a run down of what she knew, what she remember and where the gaps were. She gave Sam the list of names and credit card numbers she'd been using recently because she though there was an off chance that he could find something she hadn't been able to find. For his part, Dean was quiet, taking in the information and watching the woman in question.

Dean stood and went over to the counter to make a fresh pot of coffee. The could all use whatever paltry amount of caffeine the coffee there could offer. He wouldn't claim that he knew her better than anyone else but he knew her pretty well. There was that solemn and strong front that she put up and the higher and wider that wall seemed, the more she was fearful. There was plenty to be afraid of considering how many holes there were in her memory, how many strange and suspicious occurrences that had taken place during her prolonged blackout.

If they hadn't decided to stop seeing each other, he wondered if it would be different. He wondered if in this questioning time if she would even have accepted comfort from him. It was just as likely that she would push him away, not wanting to feel more vulnerable than she already did. He met instinct and discretion in the middle and went with bringing her a fresh, hot cup of coffee. She took it with a soft smile, almost like things were okay between them. Maybe he was overgeneralizing her, he decided.

"I think we should try to exorcize you." Sam said.

It wasn't the worst idea and it had been one of the ideas that she'd had. It was a possibility given the situation. However, she didn't feel like she was possessed and she had an embarrassingly long reference on that. That did not mean it couldn't have happened as some point. It didn't explain why a demon would let her come out of this now but then again given their recent demon playmates, it could have been something as simple as one of them wanting to toy or torment her.

"I won't stop you. If it is a possession though, it ain't me you have to worry about."

Sam smirked a little at the warning. "So we'll probably have to tie you up, just to be safe."

Mae shrugged. "Well that all sounds in keeping with my day."

"Sorry but if something is in you..."

There was that thoughtful, remorseful look on his face that was somehow reassuring. It made her hate the state of things between her and Dean because the exchange was comforting. "No, I know. Safety first and all that." She took a sip of coffee, causing her stomach to rumble disconcertingly loud.

Dean frowned down at her. "When was the last time you ate?"

She opened her mouth but paused because the mean she remembered had been days ago. "Um...I don't know. A while ago."

"Sam, go get breakfast."

"No," Mae protested. "Let's just get this done with. I don't want to chow down only to have to barf all over myself later. Just strap me down, break out the Latin and check this off the list, okay."

Mae got up off the bed, setting her cup of coffee on the nightstand. Her stomach left her sort of woozy but it wouldn't take very long to get this done with and if she were lucky, perhaps put an end to the potential cause. She could live with a handful of missing days and not knowing what had happened if they managed to put an end to it here and now.

Sam got the book with the exorcism ritual in it while Dean took out some rope, as well as a flask of holy water which he tucked into one of his pockets, just in case. Mae pulled out a chair and sat down. Nervousness wasn't exactly what she was feeling. There was a tension and an apprehension but she was ready for it. Having a spirit expelled from her body wouldn't be the worst thing by any means.

Dean knelt down beside her, tying her hands behind her back first. "Let me know if this is too tight."

It made her laugh a little. "You know if I am harboring a demon, this kind respectful thing isn't going to make things easier for you down the road."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Don't worry about. Just tie me up like you would anyone else, okay?"

Dean nodded, pulling the bindings a little tighter before wrapping around her body, tighter than was comfortable but perhaps not as tight could or would have. As he stood, slightly out of her peripheral vision, he pulled out the flask, unscrewed it and then threw it in her face. Had she not been tied up, she would have sprung up. Instead she jerked away out of shock. She sputtered and tried to shake the water off her face but it was no sign of demonic possession.

"What the hell!?"

"Holy water."

Mae huffed a little but nodded. She didn't see him walk away but he reappeared moments later with a hand towel from the bathroom and rather gently dried the excess water off her face. "I thought maybe if we knew for sure...but it didn't work with dad when he was possessed either. The demon said something about it not working on something like him so maybe it's just lower level demons or something."

"Well, I suppose I would have liked a little warning but I get why you just went for it. So let's just get going."

The shocked reaction he got out of when he surprised her with the water was the most climatic of the entire ritual. The entire time Sam read, Mae simply sat there and listened. And they waited. She wasn't possessed or they weren't reading the right incantation for expelling something possessing her. It was good and bad news. For good measure, Sam read it through one more time but there was no reaction.

"So that was probably the best outcome that could ever happen when you let two dudes tie you up in a motel room." Mae said.

"Except now we're back to square one." Sam added.

"Then we just keep looking, don't we?" There was determination in his voice and that pre-panic was set in Dean's words. He leaned down to untie. "Now, can Sammy get us something to eat?"

Mae nodded. Sam agreed, setting the book down and grabbing his coat and the keys to the car.

"You're not going with him?"

Dean shook his head. "Someone should stay here with you so you don't go on walkabout."

He didn't leave any room for question about whether or not it should be Dean or Sam staying and Mae assumed there wasn't that question in Dean's mind.

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><p>AN-Thanks for reading and please take the time to review. It's like crack for writers! Also I promise the next couple chapters will be Mae and Dean heavy (Because I know that a couple of you have wanted to see more of that during the last installment. So it's coming!)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Disclaimer- I'll let you know, this chapter touches on a sensitive issue so be forewarned. Other than that, all the same disclaimers apply.

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><p>It didn't feel like being trapped in the room with Dean because she wanted to be with him. It felt more like realizing you had an addiction. She wanted to be with him and even if she thought he really did want to be with her, he wasn't and he wasn't taking back anything he'd said either. She had to take him at his word and not at her guesses and intuition.<p>

Remembering that gave her something to hold on to, something to steady that longing in her heart. That didn't leave her feeling any better though. And that voice in her head told her that nursing her wounded heart was far less important at this point too.

The one thing that drove them both insane was that they were feeling the same way; they wanted to get over the strange and painful tension and they wanted to go back and undo what they had done with their relationship. Only neither of them really knew how to go about that.

Dean paced the room before he decided to put his excess energy to work and perform some basic weapons maintenance. Research seemed too tedious and he needed a more physical outlet. Sharpening knives and cleaning guns was the closest he could find right then. It also helped him focus his thought before she sprung something on him.

It was stupid to think that being alone wouldn't lead to something. Since sex was probably out, it was going to be conversation he decided. To his surprise, she didn't strike anything up right after Sam had left. There was no telling how much or little time they might have to themselves and typically they took as much advantage of that as possible. Instead, she sat cross legged on the bed in front of her laptop, presumably doing research.

Her heart wasn't in it but it was the only thing that kept her from staring at Dean in a way that even she felt was creepy and obsessive. Her head told her that this didn't change anything, that she couldn't change anything and whatever was behind his strange behavior of late didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Her head also told her that if she tried to get something more out of him, she might end up with more truth than she could deal with.

She knew something was off and she supposed her real fear in that was that at the point that She'd stopped fighting Dean and the idea of being with him again that he realized he didn't want her anymore. Maybe the only thing that had made their reunion last as long as it did was the chase. Once that was gone, the electricity had disappeared for him. It had opened up an old wound for both of them but for her, it had opened a part of her heart that she had wanted to keep closed for a long time. Maybe it was only fair that he break her heart this time.

Mae put up the pretense of researching with halfhearted taps at the keyboard and clicks of her mouse on links that sent her nowhere really. It took her about 15 minutes before she just gave up. "Why are we so messed up?"

"Excuse me?"

"You and me. I mean...when two people are stupid about each other, they don't act the way we do. They enjoy it, they indulge in it and all we do is push and fight it."

Dean knew Mae was right; if they were different people, normal people, with the sort of connection and emotions for each other, they would probably have gotten married years ago and maybe had a kid or two. They would have had a nice, normal life. That didn't scare him actually. Something about it seemed appealing and that was probably what bothered him most about the idea. They weren't living ideal normal lives and he felt a sort of draw to one with her.

"We didn't exactly grow up normal. When was the last time we saw a good healthy relationship? Normal people have weird secrets and screw up their lives way worse than we do."

"I didn't say we were normal or that we could play house in the middle of this. I just don't get us sometimes, myself included. I know that I'm part of the reason we broke up. I pushed, you went along with it and here we are. Or should we just chalk it up to being so horribly out of synch that the times when we both want the same thing are happening so far apart from what's happening to us?"

"I don't know Mae. I wish I had a better answer for you."

The woman sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Then what happened to you Dean? What changed? Because for me, there's this moment where you're so scared that you could lose me or I could be used against you that you don't want me in danger. And then you nearly die, you lose your dad and suddenly, it's too hard to be together."

He looked up at her and then put the blade he was sharpening back down on the table. He was strangely quiet as he stood and started pacing again. It was not a great sign. "You really wanna know?"

"No, I want to keep bickering and felling like I'm crazy because I'm not feeling whatever you're feeling. It's awesome." Sarcasm dripped from the words.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, his back towards her. "I gotta ask you a strange question Maes."

"Well, out with it then." She said, setting her computer off to the side, as she braced for the worst.

He wasn't willing to look at her because his resolve might fall away with one teary eyed look from her. A lot of things had been eating at him for the past few weeks, things that he would have felt comfortable telling Mae but that wasn't an option. Or at least it hadn't felt like one. Not with the sour ball that was festering in his stomach with regards to her. This was going to be a dicey conversation. "After we rescued dad, we realized he'd been possessed, probably since he'd been taken."

Her brow furrowed, not understanding the connection. "It's not your fault."

"No, this isn't about that, it's about what happened when he had control of dad, he uh, he told me some things. About you, about us…about…"

"About what? What could a demon tell you that is possibly true or helpful?"

"I don't know but I can't get it out of my head so..." he swallowed, not ready for the answer one way or another. "Well, were you ever pregnant? You know, when we were together. The first time, not recently because I'd like to think I would have caught that." He added to clarify his question so she didn't tell him 'no' outright.

It wasn't the heartbreak she was expecting. This was a whole different world of terrible things. She tried to keep her face passive because every emotion that might pass over it had every chance of being read wrong. He'd hear it in her voice anyway, she thought. "That's what the demon told you?"

"Not in so many words. He told me that he regretted that he wasn't able to..."

"To what?"

"Well among other things…to make me—us—watch as he ripped it out of you."

Mae took a breath but she found herself nearly unable to breath. It was confirmation that John had been right and she'd been fairly comfortable just ignoring his theory of the demon's involvement in her life. She knew that she had enough ties already and didn't need to wrestle with another one. She believed Dean. And while she wasn't sure that he believed what the demon had told him, it was just the sort of information that could be used to torment the man. "He…he told you that?"

Dean looked over his shoulder at her. Her voice had taken on a disturbingly quiet tone and the blood had all but left her face, which was enough to give him an answer of sorts. He wanted to hear her say it was impossible or call him stupid or crazy. He wanted her to tell him that having been pregnant was an impossibility.

Before he resorted to bringing this up, he had tried to run through all the possible times when they were together. All the times they had sex but he'd had to leave her long enough for him not to notice a bump or for her to either have an abortion or give it up for adoption. He hadn't come up with anything and so he only had this disturbing threat to go on.

"Yeah. So it's true?"

"I…" she looked away. "I don't know what to tell you."

It was was as good as a yes. and he bolted up to begin walking back and forth at a near manic pace "You could have fucking told me you were fucking pregnant before you decided…" His temper flared hard and fast but died out when he couldn't really finish the sentence, "Or this whole time we've been together since, you could have told me that we might have had a kid."

Her brow furrowed and that tightness in her heart grew but she didn't move to calm or confront him. Her voice was calm, strangely calm but there was a little tremor there that he would have heard if he was actually listening. "Dean, I didn't know."

"What? You didn't know that I'd care? You didn't know that I'd find out? You didn't know?" He scoffed. "I find that hard to believe that you didn't know that demon killed our kid."

"No." She shook her head but she still couldn't look at him for fear of loosing her composure, "I didn't know I was pregnant. It's not like I was far along enough to be showing and my...you know cycle wasn't particularly regular in the first place so I didn't even think that I was late." Mae sighed. This was the first time she'd ever assigned any real words to it, the first time she'd spoke of it in any detail without completely vague euphemisms for what had happened.

"I fell out of that tree and…when I woke up from surgery…I barely had time to understand when the doctor told me that I'd lost the baby that I'd...that I'd been pregnant in the first place." She continued, "That was the first time I found out I'd been pregnant and as for it being the demon...your dad said that's what we'd really been hunting that night but I don't think anyone figured that out until recently."

He paused, realizing that as his temper stoked again that he was practically huffing. Then there was Mavis; she already appeared and was vulnerable and worried. It took on a much more heartbreaking look now as she pleaded with her eyes. She wasn't crying but she was still upset. He stopped pacing, trying to determine if she was telling the truth. "I...Really?"

"Yes. Dean, I was barely—we were just kids. You know, in normal circumstances we'd just be another after school special. But um...things didn't work out that way. I wouldn't lie to you about this. And I would have told you if there was anything you could have done about it. I thought telling you would have been cruel after the fact. If I had known it was a trap by the demon…maybe," she shrugged, "well, maybe I would have told you sooner but you already had enough reason to want it dead. Did you really need this?"

He would have preferred for there to be no truth to the demon's accusation, almost to the point where he would have been happy with a convincing lie. The truth seemed much worse. In all of his imaginings of the situation, this hadn't been a possibility. "You should have told me."

"I thought about it, a lot at first. The more time that past, the more hurtful it seemed. What was I supposed to say, "Hey honey, remember that time I almost died? Well you managed to knock me up and our baby died?" Even if I could have found the right way to tell you…I don't know that I could have. "

There was something about the woman's twisted sense of humor that resonated with him and he found it hard to keep his indignation up. He sat back down on the edge of the bed, angled this time to face her. "So…you never would have told me if I hadn't just asked you?"

She shook her head. There was no hate or anger in her eyes or tone. It wasn't like any of their fights and it took something out of him. "Dean, I don't know about never but I didn't have a time table laid out. I just don't know. But what good is knowing this going to do for you."

"Well, for starters, it means that demon not only killed by mom but my kid and almost you. Doesn't that mean something to you?"

"I'm sorry."

"That you didn't tell me?"

"No. If I could do things over, I wouldn't tell you. I'm sorry that this hurt you. I'm sorry that you found out the way you did. And I'm sorry that I couldn't make it better for you in some way. But I'm absolutely not sorry, in any way for not giving another member of your family a reason to get themselves killed by striking up a vendetta against this thing."

He was quite, taking in her words. He understood them, he understood her motivation which made it so much more difficult to keep up even a facade of anger. But that hurt still lingered.

"Maybe it was misguided and I shouldn't have taken in upon myself to keep you from knowing something that I thought would hurt you. And I'll admit that there was a small part of me that didn't want to tell you because maybe you feel or say that this was for the best. I...I couldn't bare that. So at my most selfish, I was protecting myself too"

She didn't cry but she was on the verge, tears welling in her eyes and that falter in her voice.

"You've just kept this with you for almost 10 years."

Mae nodded. "There wasn't anything that could have been done about it. It's not like it doesn't still bother me but I've sat with it a lot longer and I've...I guess I've come to terms with it on some level. I know this fresh for you and if you want to be pissed off at someone, I suppose I'm as good as anyone."

"I'm...I wish I could be pissed off at you and there's part of me that wishes I didn't believe you and could be mad about that. I'm not. I'm pissed off at this demon but...fuck." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I wanted this demon to be lying just to torture me."

"The truth was torture enough, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. You know if you had told me...I know there's nothing I can do now and there was probably nothing I could have done then but…well I wouldn't have let you go so easily."

Her mouth quirked up in a sloppy half smile. "Just because you know you knocked me up now? You think that would have changed things? Dean...I woulda still left and lived that part of my life."

"You would have?"

She nodded. "I needed to. And, " she smiled all the way this time even though a hint of sadness still lingered in her eyes, "I'm pretty sure you would not like tagging along with me to college."

"You don't know that." He said with almost a pout.

"No one does and if we could go back and see, maybe things would be different but they're not and this is how everything turned out."

"You know, I hate it when you're all calm and zen."

"I think that because it was so long ago and this is so fresh for you now, on top of everything else, that... well, I don't want to sound callous here but I might have been pregnant in the most technical terms but I didn't ever have a chance to connect it. I was never pregnant when I could do something about it. So it's abstract for me. I think you're picturing a baby that had your eyes and my nose. It's just different for me. And I guess I just don't want to fight with you any more. It's not particularly rewarding. So...this is why you decided it was too hard to be with me any more?"

Dean wasn't sure how to answer that question. It seemed like a convenient excuse but deep down he knew it wasn't true, not fully. He was conflicted when if came to her. Being with her made it harder to justify his thinking when he agreed that maybe they shouldn't be together. "I-no... it's not that simple."

"Okay well... maybe you can find some time to explain it to me because I get the feeling that we're not going to easily untangle from each other's lives at this point. Whatever is happening to me aside, there's still a demon out that that's come after our family at all angles and I'd have to stay was pretty successful up to this point."

"I don't-do you think we can work together?"

"I think that we'll teeter between fighting and this weird awkward thing in the down time and when it comes to the business part of this life, everything will fall into place."

"Oh because I love that awkward part so much."

Mae shrugged but smirked. "Yeah me too. And I'll tell you now I don't think you're on the level with me on why you don't want to be together but that's not going to make this change between us. I also don't think that it's because your feeling have so drastically changed for you. I know they haven't for me. I also know that you would have avoided me if you could have so thanks for coming here."

"It's not like I was your first choice."

"Last." She laughed, "You were at the bottom of my list but only because you hurt my feelings and...well, I still love you so this isn't exactly easy."

He felt like he was on the verge of taking it all back because her assessment was right and being with her made it so much more apparent to him exactly how much he loved her. Dean scrubbed his face with his hand. "I'm pretty sure you're the love of my life. Look what happened to you already Mae. You were my girlfriend and you could have been the mother of my children. But this demon destroyed something we didn't even know we had." He took a long, ragged breath, "I... I can't explain what I'm feeling right now Mae."

She didn't think it was a mistake that he thought she was the love of his life still, it wasn't just a part of their past. At the same time, she wouldn't indulge in that or point it out to him. They had a rapport that usually let talks like this, when they'd hit an emotional weariness where they could finally drop all their guards but they both knew that it was a delicate balance and all too easy to push either one of them back on the defensive. Instead, she said the only thing she could think of. "I'm sorry."

"I wasn't looking for an apology Mae. Really. Actually I think I owe you an apology. I'm sorry that you were all alone with all this."

"I don't…there's nothing you need to apologize for either. Honestly, it's no one's fault but that demon. Well," she said with a sort of sweet, sort of sad smile, "the pregnancy part is on us but the rest…"

"And just so you don't think it for the next ten years or whatever, I would not have been happy about it if I found out, okay? I mean, if you'd...you know if you hadn't gotten hurt and we'd realized you were pregnant, I might have freaked out at first but mostly because it would have been a shock thing. And yeah, I guess I was 18. I wouldn't have been prepared for the news but it...I think ultimately it would have been good."

"I wasn't saying you'd throw a parade or anything but I was scared because I didn't know how you'd react. You don't even know how you'd react. I think given time and everything that you would have come around but that's coming from you now."

"It's kind of a moot point now, isn't it?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Yeah it is. So...I can kind of see why we're so messed up."

"I wish it were different. I really do."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

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><p>Dean wasn't sure if things were better or worse no. This had not been the direction he though the day or their conversation would take them. He was left feeling somehow relieved and let down all at the same time. There wasn't anything that he was sure of at this point. They were tied together in a way that he hadn't expected but actually found himself wishing had been deeper. He wouldn't go as far as to say he wished they were raising a kid today but it would have given them a different, maybe better life. Maybe better for all of them.<p>

It was then a worrisome thought struck him. Dean angled a pointed look at her. "Wait, you said my dad told you the demon was involved in you getting hurt that night, right?"

Mae nodded.

"So did he know you were pregnant?"

Her mouth opened but she shut it quickly as she tried to find the proper response to the question. She wasn't entirely sure what John knew. He had known enough to put things together but there was no sure way to know what the man really knew. Even if he was still with them, he might not been as forth coming as Dean would have liked or they needed. It still felt like she was divulging a secret that wasn't hers to tell.

"Yeah..." she said somewhat reluctantly, "he um... there was a lot of stuff going on that night and I don't exactly know what went down. You'd have to ask Bobby I guess on what happened while I was out."

"Why the hell didn't he tell me anything?"

He was angrier than she thought he might be about this. Dean being mad at her, she got that one. She didn't like it but she understood it and she decided on some level it was deserved, if only because he found out from someone other than her. The anger at his father, that was a new one. Actually, it was expressing it, rather than internalizing it that was new. It was also a little ego boosting that on this issue he seemed to be a little easier on her and a little less on his dad's side. She knew it was petty but so often his loyalty to his father put her on the outs if she wasn't on the same side.

This time however, she was on John's side. At least if he'd kept this from Dean for the same reasons she had. "I wish I could tell you."

"No! That's fucked up. I don't get it. He liked you and he thought we should be together." He paused, reconsidering a bit. "At least he didn't try to break us up. So why the hell did he keep all of these things that would have changed the hard feelings between us. Do you think he was trying to keep us apart?"

"Dean..." He wasn't looking for a genuine answer from her or anyone, just venting but she still wanted to say something to him that would make him feel better.

"That man..." His loyalty to his father and his emotions could twist just as easily as they had when he was alive Dean realized, maybe worse now. And it left him lost, without something concrete to hold on to.

"I'm sure that he came to the same conclusion I came to."

"Maybe. Or maybe-"

He was cut off as they heard the key turn in the door and Sam entered. He absolutely hated the eerie silence in the room. It would have been better if they'd been talking about him or maybe even if he'd overheard them yelling. But the air practically crackled with emotion. The two needed to talk about whatever was bothering them and Sam was sure that if they stopped now, they might not start up again.

Her eyes widened at both the sight of the Styrofoam carryout containers and the near heavenly scent of eggs, bacon, waffles and whatever else Sam had picked up for them. It probably wasn't a greasy and artery clogging as something Dean would have picked up but that didn't mean that it was perfect diner hangover food. Her stomach loudly voiced its approval.

Mae all but leaped off the bed, taking the plastic bags from Sam's hands, leaving him holding the fresh hot coffee that was above and beyond anything the motel could offer. For the first time, she cared less about getting caffeine in her blood stream than about getting to the food. There wasn't even any discussion as she unpacked the bags, opened all three of the boxes and pick the one that appealed to her the most. At that point, she didn't really care what she was getting but she picked the waffles, topped with fruit and rapidly melting whipped cream.

Unceremoniously, she sat down and dug in, eating with both a passion and speed that was surprising to both boys. Still, they joined her at the table although in the short time that they had spent exchanging a confused and concerned look, she had polished off nearly half of the waffle. The woman barely looked up and barely slowed down as they started eating their breakfasts as well. After about 10 minutes, Sam discussing possible avenues they should look into to figure out where Mae had been and what she might have come across, Mae pointed her fork at Dean.

"Are you gonna finish that?" She said around a mouthful of waffle.

She hadn't anticipated or realized just how hungry she was until sh smelled the food and then she realized she was simply ravenous. She was also well aware of the looks she was getting from both Sam and Dean. But she didn't care because what she wanted was food.

Dean offered her the piece of bacon she'd been eying, mostly because he wanted to see if she would actually add that to the mass of food she'd already downed. She had all but licked the container clean in a short period of time. "Hungry much?"

"Yeah, really hungry. Is that a problem?" She reminded him of a cat with it's back arched, fur standing on end. He half expected her to spit or hiss back at him and maybe she would have if it didn't get in the way of her food.

"Who doesn't love a girl who eats?" He offered as a placation to Mae, earning him a frowning glare.

Despite the joking, Dean was getting more and more worried about her. They just didn't know enough about what had happened, what was happening, and how they could help her. This was one more thing that added to the strange, un-Mae like behavior. The woman had never been shy to eat like a regular person but this was pushing it to the extreme.

"So I'm guessing this has something to do with whatever is happening to you. Unless you've been eating like...I don't know a refuge stoner?" Sam asked.

This time she pinned him with the glare, to Dean's delight. "No I...I don't know." She set the fork down, "I was just hungry. I'm still kind of hungry," she shrugged.

"That's kind of abnormal, right?"

"Well, I used to get by on diet coke and cigarettes but no."

"It could actually be a good sign." Sam said, picking up their dad's journal which had been sitting in the center of the table and began to leaf through the pages of scrawled, often confusing notes. He was looking for something that their dad might have come across that showed the symptoms they'd seen so far.

"It certainly worked well for The Blob so I can't see how this could possibly go wrong." She added.

Dean smirked. "You want the rest?"

She looked at the half eaten scrambled eggs, toast, and the last piece of his bacon. She most certainly wanted the rest but felt oddly self conscious. "If you're sure..."

"Yeah, go ahead. It's not like there's not more food in this town. Although the way you're going, that might be true for long."

He knew he'd hurt her feelings a little and almost regretted the off the cuff remark but all the same, she took the container from him. This time she ate with more restrain, not because her appetite had diminished but because she was trying to appear as if she had some composure.

"So Sammy, is there anything in there about something that makes a girl loose her memories and eat like she just got rescued from a desert island?"

"Well, it could be a handful of creatures but...there would probably be more physical evidence of something like that so...Mae?"

She shook her head. "No, not anything that seemed creature like. I mean all of the things I've found seem pretty the top of my head, it could be more like a spirit or a curse."

"You piss off any witches lately?" Dean asked.

She angled her head slightly as she thought. "Not to my knowledge. But...she should maybe check for those signs too. It could be something like a Bori or Zar spirit."

"I thought a Bori only turned on you if you neglected it and then it just slowly drained you." Sam said.

She blew out a hard breath. "Hey, I don't know one way or another. I'm not exactly the best witness here. It could be super charged or something. It's not like I summoned one up, at least not one I can remember. I'm just trying to come up with some leads we can follow."

Mae pushed away from the table, stood, and paced the length of the room in even strides as she thought, as she tried to recall just one thing that might help. "I don't even know where I've been so we also probably need to start searching police reports between here and Oregon for the past few days to see if there's some strange reports or crimes or descriptions matching mine. I mean...that's what we would do if we were working this and I wasn't in the middle."

"That's a lot of places, Red."

"Yeah I know and I'm totally open to any other method. We haven't exactly considered what I might have done while I was out of it. It uh, might be fairly unpleasant."

Dean moved to meet her and stop her pacing. When he placed his hands on her shoulders, her head came up with a bewildered look on her face, as if she hadn't even noticed him get up until that point. His touch was warm, reassuring and made her stomach flutter more than she wanted it to with him.

"Well, we'll just figure it out, won't we? We'll figure it out and fix any damage that might have been done and we'll get you back to normal." He looked over at his brother, making sure he was going to tow the line as well. "Right, Sam?"

"Of course."

When Dean looked at her again, she found it difficult not to believe him. His hazel green eyes were so determined and sincere. There wasn't even a hint of doubt or worry in them which she found to be a strange aphrodisiac and she knew the heat it caused was painting bright pink on her cheeks. "Thanks guys."

She extracted herself from his hold before she did or said something that would undoubtedly make things weirder. It wasn't even about being embarrassed any more, now she realized that being this close to Dean was going to basically destroy her resolve and leave her wanting something she couldn't have.

With her back to both of them, she took a steadying breath. "So the real question is did I think like when I was out to lunch or did I think like someone else. If I thought like me, I'd stick to back roads and smaller towns wherever possible. I've already searched through the credit card activity for the ones I've got on hand but probably, I would have used cash."

"Okay." Sam said thoughtfully. "Then let's start small and move up if we don't find anything. We'll look through police reports to see if you were involved in anything nefarious." He added a playful smirk to the end of the sentence when she turned around with a light frown and it was sort of contagious.

"Yeah, we should look through obits too...just in case. Hey, we don't know what I did and maybe there's a trail of bodies between here and there."

"C'mon," Dean said, "You don't think you did anything like that."

"I don't know. Anything is possible and we need to know what we might be dealing with from all angles."

"Then we should look around here too" Dean said. "There's got to be a reason that you came to here, right?"

Rather reluctantly, Mae nodded. It was an unappealing idea because she had a feeling that she hadn't spent her missing time alone. If she remembered any of it, things might have been different; she probably wouldn't feel that humiliation and worry turn in her stomach. Mae knew that neither man would judge her too harshly for anything she during the missing time. Hell, they probably wouldn't have judged her for anything she'd done if she remembered it. But the lack of control weighed on her and pulled at her pride.

"Yeah, I know."

"Okay well, Sam do you want to start seeing if you can find the path of the Red Menace here and," he pointed back at the woman in question, "you and me will see if we can find somewhere you've been here. Gimme a second though. I'll be right back."

* * *

><p>Dean sure as hell wasn't going to tell either one of them what he was doing. He wasn't telling Sam because he didn't want him to give it away to Mae and he wasn't telling her because it would likely start a fight between them. He walked out of the motel room and out to his car where he dialed his phone.<p>

"Hey Bobby."

"Dean. What's up?"

"Listen, I hate to do this again but uh, I think we might need your help."

"That's okay, what do you boy's need help with."

Dean paused, unsure of how to phrase this or sell it or even tell Bobby. Mae was after all his niece, basically his daughter in every way but genetics and even if it had been a long time ago, Dean had promised the man that he would take care of her. He hadn't done a very good job of that and this predicament didn't seem to indicate he was doing any better this time around.

"Well...now don't worry but something is wrong with Mae."

"What is it?"

There was a colder tone to his voice, or maybe Dean was imagining it but he doubted it. "We don't know yet. We're figuring it out and she's with us. She's safe but we're trying to piece together her last week because she doesn't remember how she went from her last job to end up in New Mexico."

"Are you sure it's something supernatural and not something else?"

"What you mean like someone drugged and kidnapped her? Nah. She doesn't seem to have been hurt in any way and she wasn't being held against her will here or anything. She just woke up with out any sort of recollection about what she'd done in the last week. She's also eating like it's a contest."

"Anything else?"

"Not that she's told us or we've ferreted out. We're looking and I'm hoping that you might be able to give us a hand on the research front and see if you can pick up her trail during that time she can't remember."

"Yeah, of course." Bobby paused, "She's really okay?"

"I think so, yeah. I'm not gonna let anything else happen to her Bobby. I promise."

* * *

><p>She eyed him when he came back in but there wasn't really anything she could pin him with. All she knew was something was up with him. Maybe it was just worry that he didn't want to show. Ultimately, she decided, it didn't matter and she'd drive herself mad trying to figure out what was going on in his head. Instead, she kept her mouth shut and left with Dean.<p>

She was actually grateful that they were taking his car. If she'd been terrorizing the town her car might have been more distinct than his for the moment. It was not knowing that bothered her more than anything else. She had to remind herself that might not stay true if she found something really nasty about her whereabouts or who'd she been spending that time with.

As they drove through town, Dean tried to engage her in small talk but Mae didn't really reply with more than a few 'sure's or 'hmm's that didn't signify anything. He only managed to get her attention with a tap to her leg. "Hey, so you had to have gone out at some point while you were here." She nodded, "So we're gonna see if we can find anything around town that jogs your memory. Or maybe someone recognizes you."

"That could be...awful."

"We can't really worry about that right now. We need to find you."

Mae rubbed at her eyes with her finger tips. She was beyond tried at this point. She knew she'd gone without sleep for longer intervals but she also had no idea what was effecting her so her gauges of what was normal were probably off. It was only after 10 but she could feel a midday crash ahead of her if she didn't take a nap or load up on more caffeine.

"Yeah, I know." She mumbled.

Dean stopped at a stop sign. "It's gonna be okay. Hey, you know Sam is awesome at this geek boy research thing." he left out that Bobby was helping them too, "And I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. I'll be like your knight in kick ass armor."

He could see her eyes roll even though they were closed and she laughed a bit. Dean leaned over to her and surprising both of them kissed her. It wasn't anything explicit or lewd. It was really just a peck but it so shocked her that she jarred back, with a sharp hiss and she angled away from him more.

"What the hell was that?!"

He shook his head. "I-I don't...it just came over me."

"Well it needs to get back. You can't do things like that. We...I can't play both angles of this Dean. Not with you and not right now."

"I know. I'm sorry."

He cleared his throat as the honk of a horn behind them jarred him back to reality. He pealed out into the intersection perhaps faster than needed. He could have kicked himself for that one and he wasn't even sure why he did it. He just wanted to reassure her somehow, comfort her, and he supposed, he wanted to be near her. In some ways, he hadn't anticipated just how much of the ease they had found with each other had been lost. He hadn't realized just how much he would miss that simple, freely given physical intimacy.

After driving around for a few blocks in unpleasant silence he finally spoke. "Anything ringing any bells?"

"No."

"C'mon, you can't be mad at me for kissing you. It was a... miscalculation."

"I'm not mad at you for that and that wasn't the miscalculation you made. I like you kissing me. I miss it. I miss you holding me but it all seems so awkward and uncomfortable now. I was wrong when I thought maybe we shouldn't be together, at least in my estimation. It was more of a question for me, not a course of action. But then you agreed and...and now you're throwing me off, okay? I just don't think I can pretend I don't feel the way I feel."

"Mae...

"No, there's not another way about this. I really don't feel different about you. I'm willing to accept that you feel differently now even if you don't know how to explain it but you can't have it both ways. I can't be close to you without...I mean, for the first time since I've known you I feel like maybe you are using me. And I don't like associating that feeling with you kissing me."

"That's not what I'm doing. Not intentionally anyway. I get how you could feel that way. I'm confused right now and that's not fair to you."

"You can be as confused as you want to be. I'm telling you that this whole casual thing, it just doesn't work for me when it comes to you so...just keep your hands and your lips and whatever else to yourself, okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

><p>AN-Since I have a lot of this already written, I'm able to get these chapters out a little quicker than normal, at least for a few more weeks! Reviews are always welcome and make me all warm and fuzzy!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

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><p>Los Lunas, New Mexico was on the outskirts of Albuquerque, a big enough town itself for Mavis to find more than enough trouble but close enough to a big city that she might have gone north. There it might have been a bit more difficult to track down her movements. It was a friendly and rather quaint place but not really the sort of place one could get lost in.<p>

And, in Dean's opinion, Mae stood out. She was tall, rather slim, and attractive. She also had a certain edge to her that even when she was pretending to be someone else couldn't completely disappear. He liked it; that edge was honest and real. That edge made her sweetness even more apparent. He shook his head. It didn't behoove him to think about her that way. He would only slip more and he could admit she was right; if they weren't going to be together, he couldn't act like that didn't change things. Maybe in time, it would even out and this new dynamic would feel normal.

"If you can't remember anything here, then what was your last case like?"

"Easy. It was textbook. Restless spirit causing problems, I tracked down the his story, figured out who they used to be and then standard salt and burn job. It wasn't anything to write home about."

"And you didn't notice anything that might land you in this state?"

"No, I walked down to the hex store and got the whammy put on me." She replied sarcastically.

"I'm trying to help."

"Honestly, it was so routine that it wasn't even memorable. I can't imagine that I got my hands on a cursed object or crossed paths with someone who's want to put me in this state. It was even such an easy that and I was so inconspicuous that I didn't need to put a bunch of pavement between me and the case."

Dean drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, eyes narrowed as he tried to come up with the next steps. "Well, maybe it's over, you know? Maybe you just blacked out for a few days and nothing will come of it."

Mae nearly laughed at his hopeful assumption and she offered him a look with a keenly arched brow. "Okay, Pollyanna, well even if that's true, even if I don't wake up six days from now with no memories. I still need to figure out what I did during that time. I just have a bad feeling about it. So if you won't want to help me piece things together, you're free to leave."

"I wasn't saying that I didn't want to help. I'm stumped though Mae. You didn't leave much of a trail and I don't know that your bad feeling helps us out that much."

"I know. I'm just not hopeful enough to thing this was a one shot thing. I'm probably not possessed but I can tell you that I don't entirely feel like myself. I can tell you that right now, I'm totally in control of me but at some point, I wasn't." She shook her head. "I don't remember anything and we're just driving around and around."

"So...we've still got nothing."

"I do know one thing. I've clearly been to a liquor store. Or two."

"We can check those later in the day." The yawn that escaped her mouth then made her seem impossibly small and much younger than she was. "Maybe I should take you back and you should get some sleep." He added.

"No. I'm fine. Maybe come more coffee. Or a fist full of Adderall."

"You're gonna half to sleep sometime," He said in far too much of a fatherly tone for her liking.

"Hopefully we solve this first. That's my plan anyway."

* * *

><p>Dean met her half way; he let her fill up with what might have been an unhealthy amount of caffeine but was dropped her off back at the motel. Mae might not have remembered but he figured if she had done something strange or nefarious, she'd been memorable and he was going to figure it out without her.<p>

He also took the time to get a separate room for himself and Sam. Even under more agreeable conditions, they weren't all staying in Mae's room with its single king sized bed. He changed into a suit as well. As much as he loathed the thing, it did lend them a far more professional air and since he had decided to take a law enforcement approach to looking for Mae, it seemed like the best idea.

Going by himself would also let him focus more on the job and less on Mae. Right now, she was a distraction as were his feeling for her. It was becoming impossible to stay away from her and almost as impossible to remember why he thought it was a good idea in the first place. He hadn't exactly built himself a rock solid argument as to why they shouldn't follow their romantic inclinations. It was nearly impossible to keep himself from acting on instinct. It was only this strange decision they'd both made that neither one of them seemed to like that was keeping them apart.

He wondered when or if that hollow pit in his stomach would go away. If it did, it might have felt like he could be with her. He wanted to be. It was the overwhelming sense of guilt that he felt when they were that stopped him. He wasn't so certain that he should feel the sense of lightness that he did in her presence. He knew that whatever danger she was in would be about the same if he gave into being with her, it was just a convenient excuse and one that she might understand on some level.

"You could try sleeping." He said before he turned off the car.

Her face scrunched up at the proposition. "I'm trying very much to avoid that."

"You can't stay awake forever Mae. One way or another, you'll fall asleep. And either something will happen or it won't."

Dean wouldn't have called Mae a control freak but he knew that she was extremely apprehensive about just leaving her fate up to someone else. He also knew that she probably understood he was right.

"It's not happening right now. Simple as that. We don't have enough to go on for me to take a nap. And if whatever is happening to me happens again, it could leave us with a bigger problem until we have a better idea of what's going on here."

* * *

><p>"Where's Dean?" Sam asked when Mae came back to the room by herself.<p>

"Uh, he's out trying find me and we decided that might be easier without me. But I brought back coffee and am a pretty fair hand at research so I thought I might be able to lend a hand there."

"Are the two of you okay?"

The question took her aback. Sam usually tried to mind his own business when it came to his brother's romantic life. Although, they were fiercely protective of each other and she was probably a big threat to his happiness if she hurt him. There was that sort of tone in his voice and look in his eyes.

"I'm not the one putting the breaks on this time and he is. I'm trying to respect that even though I think it's a front for something else. Has-never mind." She shook her head as she set down a cup of coffee in front of Sam and took a seat at the table herself.

"What?"

She wrestled with the question in her mind before she just went ahead with it. The worse that would come of it was Sam trying to hem and haw his way through a non-answer. "Has he said anything to you about why he suddenly changed his mind about us?"

"Not really but...he's not okay. Not after dad died and I don't think he knows how to deal with it. I know he doesn't know how to deal with it. He really hasn't been himself."

"Yeah." She had guessed as much, "How are you holding up?"

Sam shrugged, feeling oddly embarrassed when she turned the conversation back to him. "Oh you know."

"Dude, you're allowed to talk about it too."

"I know. I just don't know exactly how to answer that question. It's...there's still a part that hasn't sunk in. Like, like it would be just like dad to have figured out a way to come back or something. But I know that's not the case. So I know the only thing I can do is make sure that no one else has to go through what we went through. It's what he'd want."

"Can I ask you something weird?"

His brow arched and he couldn't even predict where she might be heading with this one. "I guess."

"Don't worry, it's not really personal or anything. I just...do you think it's totally crazy for me to even keep my hopes up about having a relationship, such as it is, with Dean? Given everything thing stacked up against us and what we do, is it just foolish to think

"I don't know. It would be easier not to. You'd both get rid of a lot of hassle and annoyances if you just called things off completely. But maybe easy isn't important if you two really love each other and I think you do. I know that isn't really an answer but I don't think I'm an expert on this one."

She let out a long sigh. "I've never met a hunter who's had a real relationship."

He laughed. "Me either. Maybe you and Dean could be trailblazers. Besides, I like you a lot more than any girl Dean's ever hooked up with."

"Sweet talker." She teased but still smirked. It helped her get out of her funk a little more and she knew focusing back on the job would help just as much. "So, have you found anything interesting?"

"Well, I haven't found much, which I guess is good. Between here and Oregon, I haven't found any police reports that involve a woman meeting your description. I'm still trying to narrow down a possible route you took and but I guessing you stayed out of big cities."

"Okay. Well why don't you let me take up the newspaper route, looking along the same roads you've looked at to see if I come across reports of suspicious events or deaths?"

"Sounds good to me. Unless you think you might be sharper if you got some sleep."

"Jesus, you boys must be conspiring against me. I'm fine and I'll be fine."

She appreciated the concern and realized that for both men to offer it up she must have looked rather rough. To give them both more room and to ensure that she was a little more comfortable, she moved back to her bed and sat there with her laptop on her lap, pulling up and sifting her way through a huge amount of information.

Despite the suggestion from both Winchesters, she didn't sleep; she researched. That wasn't to say that there weren't a handful of times when she would nod off only to be jolted awake again by the jerk of her head or some other movement of her body as it tried to give in.

She was grateful for the fact that they could do a huge portion of their work from the motel room. Old school hunters would have had to go from town to town and while they were more than comfortable do that, being able to cover miles and miles of territory in minutes helped out. Between Burns, Oregon, the last town she distinctly remembered being in and Los Lunas, there was over 1000 miles and they assumed she headed south down highway 93.

"You know," Mae started after an hour or two of work, "I might overly paranoid but does it strike you as odd that one of the most probable ways I would have made it here would have taken me really close to Twin Falls."

"I checked the police reports there too."

"So you don't think I'm being paranoid?"

"Well, it could just be a coincidence."

"It could be. I could call Tom Brand, the sheriff, just to see if there's been any suspicious activity, involving me or not."

"You could."

"But?" She asked, responding to the hesitation in his voice.

"It might be putting too much light on something we're not sure of and then there's Dean. He's kind of jealous."

"He might have to put that on the back burner for the sake of the job. Besides, he's not allowed to be jealous when we're not dating. But it can probably wait. It just seemed...I don't know, like a sign or something."

"Could be."

* * *

><p>It was several hours later when Dean returned. It was only then then that Mae realized that she hadn't moved from her place on the bed. She took a moment to lace her fingers together and stretch her arms over her head until her spine gave a satisfying pop. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sam make a similar move but her main focus was on the plastic bags he carried. He tucked his keys into his pocket with one hand as he raised the bags in offering with the other.<p>

"Hope you're still hungry."

"God yes." Mae said more to herself than anyone else.

"Well, if we can't figure this out, I'm putting you in the competitive eating circuit."

The tight lipped glare she gave him was more for show than out of actual annoyance and that brought a small smirk to Dean's lips. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joke all you want pal. I'd clean up and I'm pretty sure there's a cash prize."

"Okay then."

"What did you get? Sam was more concerned about the quality of the food rather than the quantity. Sam wasn't always sure that his brother understood the concept of healthy eating.

"Mexican. Don't worry, Mary, I got you some kinda chick salad."

At least somethings would remain the same, Sam thought as he gave his brother a deadpan thanks.

"And for the lady eating for two, tacos and tamales."

"You know, you're not gonna get a very good tip with an attitude like that Sparky." Mae said.

"Oh watching you eat like a long haul trucker is tip enough."

"Okay so what did you find Dean?" Sam changed the subject.

Dean nodded as he handed out the food to the other two and he took a seat at the table as well. "Well aside form the hotel manager, no one at the liquor stores or bars I checked could say one way or another if Mae was there. If she was, she blended into the crowd pretty well and there weren't any particularly strange goings on around town the last few days. What have you two come up with?"

Sam filled Dean in on his similarly unproductive findings as well while Mae ate. She tried to be slightly more reserved this time, knowing that despite her seemingly unending appetite, it was still concerning to both men and she didn't want to draw more attention to it.

Mae paused her eating once Sam had finished. "So I found something...weird, maybe?"

"You're not sure if it's weird?" Sam asked her.

"I'm not sure if it's a thing but it seems like it might be. I found a couple of deaths. Murphy, Idaho. Wells, Nevada. Cedar City, Utah. Over the last six days, these young men died of...well, old age. It's too soon to have full autopsy results somewhere I can pull them out from here but the preliminary findings are that they died of old age."

"Old age?"

Mae shrugged. "Yeah. Natural causes if they were like 80-85 but they were in their 20's and 30's."

"So you think you spent the last week turning people old?" Dean was skeptical.

"You don't think that's weird? Four men who out of nowhere prematurely aged and died all along a route that I was most likely traveling?"

"Maybe they have another connection."

"Are you trying to write this off because you think I'm not involved?"

"No, I'm trying to make sure we don't start chasing our own tail here just because you think something awful might have happened. If you were involved, you were involved and we deal with it. Until then, this is just a weird thing we need to look into."

"What about here?" Sam asked, earning him a sharp glare from his brother.

"What about here?" Dean responded. "No one's dead here."

"The dude at the front desk says I checked in day before yesterday. I woke up here long enough after that that maybe there is some guy wasting away here. I'll be looking for similar reports from here and Arizona but it seems to take a day or two, providing that I was in these places before hand which means if it's happening here, we still have time. We need to check hospitals."

"Maybe you don't." Sam warned. "I mean...if that is the case and a victim recognized you...it could be problematic."

"Yeah you're right."

"Okay, so we'll take that next."

"Sammy, I don't think that it's a great idea to leave Mae on her own. No offense Red."

"No I get it."

"So Sammy, you probably need to get outta here, right?" Dean didn't wait for a reply, "You'll go check here and Albuquerque hospitals."

Sam nodded. He needed to get out and stretch and a break from the computer with be nice. Dean tossed him the other key to their room. "Here, I checked us in."

"You know that means you have to be the research geek boy this time."

"Ah, shut up. Bitch." Dean added for good measure.

"Jerk."

It only took a few minutes for him to gather up what he needed before he cleared out of the room. It was only then that Dean looked back over at Mae. She seemed displeased with his executive decision.

"You know Sam's not new at this. He's got it under control." The corners of her mouth turned further south. "Unless you're saying you really want me to go and him to stay."

"I'm not saying anything." she sighed, "I don't like the idea that people are dying because of me."

"You don't know that. That could be completely unrelated."

"Oh yeah something completely unexplainable and unnatural is happening and I just happened to have no memory at the time? I've said it before, I've got a bad feeling about this."

Dean had to agree, although he didn't tell her that. It wouldn't help things.

"Get some sleep, okay? Just take a quick nap. I'll do the legwork that you're going to argue that you should be doing instead and you'll get an hour or two of shut eye. And if anything happens, I'll be here."

"I have never seen you try so hard to get me into bed."

"You look like shit Mae. Really, you look like you've been awake for days. You're pale and you've got dark circles under your eyes. You're gonna start getting punchy and useless to us. You need to sleep if you can, okay?"

She frowned but this time she didn't argue. "If I do, don't try anything, okay?"

"Don't worry, I can control myself around a sleeping woman who just wolfed down as much rice and beans as you have."

Sometimes his teasing was just to easy to see through and both she and Sam knew that he only did it because he cared. "Don't let me sleep too long. Promise?"

"I promise. Now shut up and get some shut eye."

"So I found something...weird, maybe?"

"You're not sure if it's weird?" Sam asked her.

"I'm not sure if it's a thing but it seems like it might be. I found a string of deaths. Idaho, Nevada, Utah, Arizona. Over the last six days, these young men died of...well, old age."

"Old age?"

Mae shrugged. "Yeah. Natural causes if they were like 80-85 but they were in their 20's and 30's."

"So you think you spent the last week turning people old?" Dean was skeptical.

"You don't think that's weird? Four men who out of nowhere prematurely aged and died all along a route that I was most likely traveling?"

"Maybe they have another connection."

"Are you trying to write this off because you think I'm not involved?"

"No, I'm trying to make sure we don't start chasing our own tail here just because you think something awful might have happened. If you were involved, you were involved and we deal with it. Until then, this is just a weird thing we need to look into."

"What about here?" Sam asked, earning him a sharp glare from his brother.

"What about here?" Dean responded. "No one's dead here."

"The dude at the front desk says I checked in day before yesterday. I woke up here long enough after that that maybe there is some guy wasting away here. We need to check hospitals."

"Maybe you don't." Sam warned. "I mean...if that is the case and someone recognized you...it could be problematic."

"Yeah you're right."

* * *

><p>AN-Hope you like it so far! Thanks so much for reading and remember, reviews are loved and cherished :)


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

* * *

><p>Dean knew he wouldn't sleep well until this was all over but he couldn't shake the feeling that things wouldn't ever be normal between them again. If they were lucky, they'd would figure out what was causing her to lose time and if it had any connection to the strange deaths Mae had tracked down. Then he could do more than insist Mae get some sleep. She had not fallen asleep easily and she didn't sleep restfully either but she had fallen asleep at some point. Dean was going to take what he could get on that front.<p>

The woman was uneasy for a number of reasons but he suspected that having him in the room while she tried to sleep was a big one on her list now. Her long, lean form was curled up, almost childlike on the bed. She'd refused to get under the covers or take any steps to be more comfortable. The fitful sleep she'd fallen into didn't lend itself to bestowing a sweet and peaceful expression on her face. Her generous mouth actually seemed to be set in a down turn. Ego let him play with the idea that it was because of him.

He knew it wasn't but it was a nice thought. Actually, he knew she was upset because of him. Hurt, confused, and knowing that they couldn't just go their separate ways with ease. If they could have done that, it would have been okay. Mae was always going to own his heart. He wasn't so sure the same could be said for her. Loving someone else might have been easier for her. But she still loved him.

Dean wasn't sure what his next move with her should be but knew that he couldn't have it both ways. He couldn't push her away in one moment and pull her back in the other. It would only leave them miserable. It wouldn't change the way either of them felt either. Not in the short term anyway. It would turn them bitter and angry with each other after a while.

He was beginning to feel the effects of having been awake for over twenty four hours himself and was almost envious of the woman. Although he wouldn't have so casually dismissed the offer for even a short nap. She was scared, he knew, worried that she wouldn't wake up or she wouldn't wake up as herself. That was why he stayed up, watching her, and waiting to make sure she was okay.

Mae didn't sleep very long, if you could call the tossing and turning sleep and she angled a sleepy but annoyed glare at him without even lifting her head from the pillow. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

She was adorable when she was groggy. There was no need for his mind to go there but he couldn't stop it. Dean wouldn't have woken her by the time she wanted. He was going to let her sleep as long as she could for two reasons. The first was that they needed to find out where and when this unknown force would strike. The second one was that she needed it and he wasn't going to take that away from her.

"Because I'm just the sort of asshole that lets someone who needs sleep take all they can."

Sitting up, she ran her hand through her long hair. "I don't..." a huge yawn punctuated her claim, "need sleep."

"Sounds like it. Just add it to the list of things you hate about me."

It struck her and made her frown. "The only thing I hate about you is not hating you Dean."

"What does that mean?"

"That all of this would be so much easier if I didn't care about you. Hell, I'd settle for indifference but those aren't the feeling I have for you. Not even close. And I don't know what to do with what I feel."

His heart told him to go over to her and sweep her up in a huge, tight embrace and tell her all of the things he'd been pondering and that perhaps there would be some sort of solution to everything in doing that. But he knew that wasn't going to help him. Instead, he propped his feat up on the table and crossed his arms over his chest. "Would it surprise you if I told you I felt the same way?"

"Not really. But I guess you're intent on us just being friends or partners or whatever this is, huh?"

"I'm not sure why you think I'm the sort of guy who'd be good for more than a no strings sort of thing but if we really are friends, why can't you accept that I just don't want to be with you like that anymore."

It wasn't a low blow exactly but it did happen to hit her like a punch to her gut except it was aimed at her heart. The way that Dean was describing it made sense to her. If she really did care for him as much as she did, how could she keep doing the things that hurt him. "Fair enough. I uh, I guess I'm just having a hard time with this."

"I know. Don't think that it was an easy decision for me and don't think that being here with you isn't confusing or that it doesn't pull at me the same way it does you. But logically, I-I think it makes sense not to leave ourselves vulnerable like that."

"Funny thing about logic Dean, it doesn't always makes sense when it comes to something like this."

"I know. Do you need me to apologize again?"

"No, I guess I just need to accept if and the fact that I can't make a relationship all by myself. But can I ask you something?"

"I doubt I could stop you so go ahead."

"The last few months, was that all just so you could be the one who ended things?"

"Do you really think I'm that much of a dick?"

"No but yeah, I get your logic argument but I don't believe it. I don't believe that so much has changed and...and I'm repeating myself. God, I need to get back to normal. Believe it or not but there was a point I wasn't crazy and incompetent."

"You're not either one of those things Mae. You never have been. I think all of us are dealing with a lot of shit we never could have seen coming. But you know, for the record, I still like spending time with you. This job isn't the best example but you know, other times it's been pretty great.

Mae let out a deep breath. "You know what I want to do right now? Just hunt the shit out of something evil."

"Atta girl."

* * *

><p>She had no desire to talk to him any longer. It would only result in another outburst. Mae couldn't wrap her head around the situation with Dean. She understood it, sure, but she couldn't take the feeling in her heart. The man seemed to have this uncontrollable ability to pull her closer to him. It wasn't about the notion of dating him or even the sex. But God, did she miss the sex.<p>

They hadn't had enough chances to really enjoy it to the fullest extent. She could also admit that she'd let it happen before she was entirely certain that it was a good idea. If they had just slept together prior to resolving everything, she could have been able to protect her self. She wouldn't have fallen back in love with him again. Although, she was convinced she hadn't ever stopped. She'd let herself get too close to him, let herself be open to getting hurt.

That was something she would only do for Dean, she thought with a tiny smirk. And for the briefest moment, things showed just the faintest hint of being good. Or at least better. Even now, there was this strange feeling that they could still be good. Sleeping with him had meant more than she wanted it to. More than she wanted it to if they weren't going to be together. It was too much to deal with right then.

So she tried not to engaged with him as she pretended to track down another lead. She was actually trying to remember how she had shut him out in the first place. She knew he hadn't intended to get his hooks in her and she knew making this all about the work would hurt him on some level but she didn't know what more to do.

They were both relived when Sam came back even though it was early 6pm by the time he got back. It almost didn't matter what news hew as bringing back. Good, bad, or indifferent, it was a blissful break from the tension and disappointment that seemed to hang over the pair of star crossed hunters.

Dean didn't give his brother a moment to speak and he was barely able to shut the door before he was barraged with questions about what he had found, was Mae right, was there anything out of the ordinary.

Sam wasn't sure what had happened but he didn't comment. "Good news and bad news."

"What's the good news?" Dean asked.

"I found someone. A guy named Matt Bowen."

"Mazel tov, man. I'm happy for you."

Sam rolled his eyes at his brother's more than expected behavior. He took a seat on the edge of the bed. "No, he's sick. He checked himself into the hospital this morning. His driver's license, birth certificate, all that says he's 29 but I saw him and the guy looks like he's 70. Hospital staff says he's been going down hill all day and they don't have the slightest clue."

Mae stood, taking to a mindless and nervous pacing, between the brothers. "Did he say anything about me?"

"He uh, says he met a girl at a bar called Lucky Jack's, he thinks she was a redhead but admits they were drinking pretty heavily. He thinks they talked about getting out of there and going somewhere for the night but then he can't remember anything else. He woke up at home, no sign of the mystery woman, no memory. And then he started going down hill."

"What part of that was good news Sam?"

"Well, we found a trail and Mae was probably involved. If we can figure out what's happening between to this guy and to Mae, we can end this."

Dean scrubbed his face with both hands before he stood up. "Does that name ring any bells?"

Her temper flared just a bit. She hated being on this side of thing. She knew this was her fault but had no connection to any of it and there was no amount of being asked that was going to bring it back. She shook her head. "Of course not. I would have told you if I had some dude's name lodged in my brain. It's just not there."

"Take it easy, Red."

She stopped her movement, turning her anxious energy full on Dean. "Take it easy? You take it easy, Dean! I'm responsible for whatever is happening here and I don't even remember it. I don't remember it and I don't know the cause. And I don't know if it's going to happen again or what I might if it does."

"Okay, well you're not going to figure out the answer if you freak out."

"I am not freaking out." It sounded like she was pouting, even to her own ears. "I'm not. I'm just...I hate this. I hate not having the answers and not having a direction."

"Hey, we've got some answers and we're gonna figure this out Mae. I promise."

Mae frowned, disliking the way he tried to placate her and his promise. She knew it meant he was just as worried as she was but he was trying not to show it.

"Yeah, you're right. So we hit this bar tonight, right?"

"I don't think going out to the bar is a good idea."

"I have to do something Dean. I can't just spin my wheels."

"And what if the magic ingredient is booze or shitty country music or getting sweat on by some creepy guy? I don't think we should send you out there without knowing." Sam added as he stood back up.

Mae sighed and rolled her shoulders back. "I hate that you're both being logical right now. Can't we just go in guns a-blazin'?"

"If we could, I would but that's not happening. We can hit it in the morning, okay?"

"And until then?" She asked.

"We all need some sleep, more than just an hour, and we can come at this fresh."

Sam put a hand on her shoulder. "And I can try to get some more information on this guy. We will get this worked out Mae. We aren't going to let anything else happen to you or anyone else."

Coming from Sam, it didn't seem so much like worry; it seemed more hopeful."Fine, I guess I'll see you guys in the morning."

It wasn't that Dean didn't trust her but he didn't entirely believe that she wouldn't try to go track down a lead in person at the bar. He had no intention of letting that happen. "Nope. You're not staying by yourself Mae."

"I sure as hell am not spending the night with you."

There was a sting to her statements and he was surprised that it landed as well as it did. "C'mon, just think about it and not the way you feel about me right now. You're the one who's afraid to go to sleep and you're the one who needs to. We also need to make sure that whatever is going on doesn't happen again." Dean pause, ran his hand through his hair before he sighed. "So Sam'll stay with you and make sure you don't wake up anywhere else but this bed. Fair enough."

Frowning, she would have argued if she could have found any hole in the logic. She hated it when he was right in times like this. She relented, "Fine. But I'm not sharing the bed."

"I'm sure we're all comfortable with that arrangement."

* * *

><p>It felt a bit like musical chairs with the Winchesters swapping out which one of them was watching her. Mae hated it but having Sam as a buffer was a blessing. Sam and Dean could talk, Sam and Mae could talk and Mae and Dean could act like they weren't avoiding each other. It would have been easier if they weren't bound up together in all this.<p>

Dean stuck around with the two of them for a few hours before he went back to their room. It was actually quite boring after he left. Coming up with little new information, Mae and Sam ended up just watching TV. It was so uneventful that despite any protestations she had made about not wanting or needing to sleep, she actually fell asleep.

It could have been boredom or exhaustion, Sam didn't know or care which but he was going to count it as a success. He planned on not waking her up if at all possible. He moved from the kitchenette table to the slightly more comfortable high backed , upholstered chair. It's wasn't ideal but he was able to stretch out his legs and relax a bit more.

Sam couldn't be sure when he had fallen asleep or when she had woken up but it was a chill down his spine and feeling that something was amiss that he woke up to. The room was dark except for the glow from the tv, volume turned low, showing some infomercial. He might have fallen back asleep if he hadn't noticed a movement out of the corner of his eye. He moved to get up as his eyes flicked over to the bed. Empty. His question about where she went was answered when she appeared in front of him, seeming from nowhere.

Was she okay, he wondered. There something off about her, her stance, her dress, and the look in her eyes. They didn't look completely human. If it wasn't Mae, a woman he'd known for years, he would have taken her for a monster. His eyes were wide with shock as she climbed on his lap.

"Shhhh," she pressed her fingers against his lips. "None of that. Be a good boy and go back to sleep now."

He couldn't move as her hand slid along his jaw. He shouted at his body to do something...pick her up, push her away, anything but all he could do was watch as her pale eyes turned an eerie glowing white. Her thumb slid over his lips, opening his mouth before she leaned down to meet him. Sam could feel her warm breath as her open mouth covered his.

From the outside, it might have looked like a rather terrible first kiss. But she wasn't kissing him. He could feel his energy sap and realized that it was Mae or whatever had control over her siphoning his life force, not unlike the striga he and his brother hand encountered. Once again, he fought against her with all of the mental force he could muster until whatever she was doing pushed him into the dark of unconsciousness. She paused, not draining the rest of his life force. This young man wasn't the right type.

"Don't worry handsome, it's just a taste to perk me up." She pat his cheek before she stood back up, straightening her skirt and brushing her hair out of her face.

The older one would have been a much easier target and the young woman seemed to have a much more powerful effect on him. His energy would have been more satisfying, sweeter. A bonus really since he wasn't her preferred target for the night. With the young hunter dispatched, she left the motel as if she were on top of the world.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

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><p>"Damnit! Sam!" Dean slapped his brother's cheek, trying to jar him awake. it took a few more tries but he did come to, incredibly groggy.<p>

"Wha...?" Sam blinked, a bit discordantly. a headache lingered on the edges of his consciousness and he felt like he'd been hit by a tractor trailer. Again. His brother stood over him.

"Sammy, what the hell happened? Where's Mae?"

Sam didn't have the best recollection of what time she had fallen asleep or what time she'd woken him up. "What happened?" He asked, rubbing his eyes.

"You tell me, pal. You're the one who was supposed to be watching Mae. I came over to check on you guys and she was gone."

He shook his head, unsure if what he remembered was really what had happened.. "She's gone?"

"Yeah, she's gone. And she stole my damn car. I'm gonna kill her. We're gonna find her, make sure she's okay and the I'm gonna kill her." That had been what disturbed him from the tenuous grip sleep held over him. It could have been nothing but he had to find out. It seemed worse than a full out fight. Nothing had been disturbed in the room. His brother was sleeping in the chair in what might have been consider a sitting area in fancier places.

If Mae had been asleep in the bed, it might have been a different story.

Sam sat forward, head in his hands. He could tell that Dean was just venting and he was more worried than anything else, more worried than angry. Even if he was angry with him at least he was pushing that to the side.

"She jumped me, man."

He hoped that was all it was, primarily because he didn't want his brother to end up hurt but the idea of Mae kissing Sam didn't sit well with him. He knew Sam wouldn't kiss her back but that hit a lot of hot buttons for him. "Well that would explain that lipstick. It's not your color."

"I'm telling you Dean, she's not herself. I think something is possessing her."

Again, it was a reassuring idea on one hand. If Mae wasn't herself, it made whatever was going on more palatable for both of them. The real problem was that it didn't answer the tough question of what was possessing her. "But we tried an exorcism."

Standing, Sam tried to shake off the woozy feeling that clung to him. "Then it's not a demon. I don't know know what it is."

"Tell me what happened but make it quick."

"I guess I fell asleep. When I woke up, she was like right on top of me and then she started sucking the life force or whatever out of me."

"Dude, there has got to be a better way to say that." Dean said under his breath. "Did you notice anything? Hear anything?"

"No way. I don't know what woke me up in the first place. I don't think anything could have gotten in. All the doors and windows were salted. We've got the place as protected against most creatures as we could. The only thing I'm pretty sure of is that this is why these other guys are prematurely aging and dying."

Dean scrubbed a hand over his face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I think so." Sam wasn't entirely sure but he was on his feet again and they would have to wait and see about the rest. "She stopped for some reason."

"Well that's good considering everyone else died."

"A few days later," he corrected, "The thing I don't get is why she even started. She probably could have left without touching me. But then not to finish it? It's not exactly a well thought out plan."

"Yeah well, we can sort that out later. I'm gonna find her and bring her back."

"Listen, don't touch her. I think she has some sort of ability to paralyze people."

Dean nodded, not really wanting to get into the details of that warning. But he knew his brother was probably right. "I'll do my best."

"I'm gonna see if I can find some sort of lore about a spirit or monster that does this to someone and figure out away to kill it without having to kill Mae, okay?"

Dean hadn't thought about that possibility but he realized that if they couldn't save her from whatever was possessing her, taking her out might be their only option. "That's not on the table Sam, you hear me? You figure it out."

Because it was Mae and because Sam was well aware of how his brother felt about her, he refrained from pointing out just how much of a drill sergeant Dean was being on this case. He knew that if anything worse happened to Mae, Dean would only blame himself for putting her in this situation, not being able to protect her, and not being able to save her. He knew the feeling well.

* * *

><p>Dean thought the bars were the best place to start although he wasn't sure which one was the best place. Was she, or the thing possessing her, smart enough to use a different hunting ground? Or would she head back to the bar from the other night? Fortunately, she had left her keys so he took her car and went searching. The one if only good thing about her car-napping his baby was that she would probably be easier to find it because of that.<p>

He didn't have a problem with Mae driving her but not knowing what this thing was or what it would do was adding insult to injury. It had taken both of his girls. Oh yeah, when he found this thing, he was going to make sure it was banished to the furthest corner of hell.

Luck was on his side however and it was abundantly easy to find his car. Hopefully she was sticking with hit and hadn't made her way to some other bar yet. He'd go search everyone in Los Lunas or even Albuquerque if he had to. He would find her, no matter what he had to do. Dean drove around town, eyes wide and honed, on the look out for his classic car.

When he spotted it in the parking lot of the fourth bar he'd driven by, relief washed over him but it was followed by a sense of dread. He had no idea what he was walking into or if Mae was okay. He knew he couldn't just think about her safety on this one though. That was what mattered the most to him but she was also part of the reason people were getting hurt. Mae might not have been in control of her actions but he still had to stop whatever was and hopefully, that didn't mean hurting her in the process.

The Brickhouse was a fairly typical bar Dean decided. It didn't seem like anything special, which if one were looking for some sort of nondescript, safe hunting grounds, this was probably a good as any. Now it might have been just him, it might have been his rather singular focus on the woman in question but he had no problem picking her out of the crowd near the bar. Maybe it was the hair, that vivid red hair, like a shock of flame. She'd done something to it, styled it, like any other chick in a bar.

How the hell could a woman look like that? Under just about every other circumstance, she would have been the woman he was trying to take home with him. Dean had picked up his fair share of women in bars so it shouldn't have surprised him that a woman using the incredibly appealing assets she'd been born with was attracting the kind of attention she was. But this was Mae. The woman was shy, innocent and timid. Okay, that wasn't remotely true but he could pretend it was for the sake of his anger and jealousy. It was one thing for him to enjoy those things and think of her in less than pure ways but not skeezy bar flies.

She was his. There was no two ways about that. Maybe someday, he would be able to deal with Mae seeing other men but it wasn't today and it wasn't his Mae wasn't the girl he saw now. So she might not have been some kind of innocent young girl but that didn't matter. His Mae was more subtle in seduction. Or she was upfront and blunt about it. She usually stated exactly what she wanted, at least in his experience. He hadn't ever been on this side of things and he felt a little sting of envy. Getting picked up by the pretty redhead, playing that game with her, might have been abundantly fun.

Now it seemed painful and more than a little twisted to have to deal with things this way. Mavis Singer was not supposed to be this sort of exotic, novel treat but she had become just that in this moment. Shaking his head, reminded himself that he had a mission. He had a job to do and he had to keep her safe. If he could do that and get her out of the bar, was it so bad if he marveled at her tight, lithe body?

Dean marched over to her. He felt his blood stir, among other things, as he assessed the situation. The situation however seemed to quickly devolve into just assessing her. Those long, long legs in that short, short skirt made all thought leave his mind. The snake tattoo that encircled her thigh was completely visible. God, he wanted to be that tattoo. He was feeling painfully possessive. More because she didn't seem to care who she was hitting on. He knew it wasn't her. He knew this wasn't Mae. He didn't know if Mae knew what was being done with her body but he knew that it wasn't her and because she couldn't control it, he was going to have to step in.

He stepped between Mae and the guy who had gone beyond undressing her with his eyes and was trying to reach his hand up her skirt. "Listen pal, the lady's spoken for."

"Excuse me?" The strange man questioned.

He couldn't blame the guy for being pissed. Dean would have been too considering the fact that Mae was a catch and she wasn't putting up any sort of a fight. But the woman needed someone to look out for her since she obviously couldn't.

"Like I said, walk away. Go hit on some other chick. This one, she's just...riddled with disease. You'd be better off finding some other friend for the night."

Dean would put it in the win column when the other guy gave up without much more than a prolonged glance at the woman behind him. When he turned around to her he realized that it was probably due to the look that Mae was giving him. Pure, unadulterated sex. God, if she wasn't possessed he would have had a difficult time fighting that. Even with their on going struggle, he would have let his instincts and lust take over on this. In a strange stroke of luck for both of them though, she was possessed and he had no intention of taking advantage of her in that state.

Without so much as a hello, that little red mouth of hers pressed heavy against his. Her hand fisted in his hair, the tugging just on the verge of being painful. Her other hand seized on his belt buckle, pulling his hips against hers. He let her kiss him, even held her hips a little close to his. Despite the warning Sam had offered, he wanted to kiss her. While Sam had warned him that she might be able to paralyze him through touch, Dean didn't feel anything. Well, not anything close to paralysis.

He felt a great many other things for the woman. If he could have, he would have taken her right then, in the bar and everything. She might not have been able to paralyze him but she certainly seemed able to cloud his mind with the most delicious fantasies. It wasn't something that he was unable to fight though. He was able to remind himself that while this might have been her body, in all its glory, it wasn't her. Mae, or the thing that was currently using Mae, seemed to notice the lack of control she seemed to have over him. That didn't stop her though. She pulled him in closer, kissed him with far more passion, something nearing fury, he thought.

After the not remotely brief indulgence, he broke away from her. Annoyance flashed in her eyes but she didn't seem deterred in the least. Dean still jumped when her hand ran down from his belt to rest precariously over his groin. Dean all but growled at her, seizing her hand by the wrist as a warning for her to stop. This wasn't nearly as easy as he thought it would be. "What're you doin'?"

She giggled, a sound he normally enjoyed. It was normally a sound that filled him with a desire for her that he thought should have been associated with something less pure and playful. It was scintillating to be honest. Normally. But it didn't quite sound like her. It was like a terrible cover of an amazing sound; the words were right but the tune was off. This wasn't Mae. "I thought that would be obvious Deany."

He resisted the urge to grimace as she spoke. Something about her seemed overly slick and disingenuous, like a used car salesman. He wondered if she put on this act to lure all the victims, if it were consistently successful and if whatever was successful. Hell, he wouldn't have needed much alcohol to go back where she suggested even if he didn't know her. Actually, it was only if he didn't know her that this act would have worked. But did she make good on the overtures? Did this thing use Mae that way too?

"Oh yeah but maybe we should go somewhere a little more private."

Her eyes grew darker with excitement and anticipation but they were surely hungry rather than aroused. Those lovely lips of hers curved in a decidedly devious smile.

* * *

><p>AN—Thanks for reading! If you want to see more, let me know! Leave a review, even if you don't like it, tell me why! I love feedback of any kind and have really adored what I've gotten from everyone through the series so far.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

* * *

><p>It was best to go along with her. He couldn't very well knock her out or tie her up in the bar, he wouldn't make it out of there with the woman. Dean needed her to willingly come along for the sake of every many who might have gone home with her given the chance and for the woman herself.<p>

Her body was pressed up against him. In the high heels she wore, she was just a bit taller than him. She smelled like a surprisingly intoxicating mix of vanilla, cedar wood, sweat and whiskey. She was taller than most gust there but he did have a perfect view of her long necklace with its many charms falling between her lovely breasts. That she could wear the silver charms meant for protection from a variety of spirits and creatures meant that this one was immune to them which eliminated one possible weapon they had against it.

All he needed to do was get her out of the bar and out to the car. It shouldn't be that difficult. He hard part that was coming was that they were both poised to take out the other. Fortunately, even in her possessed state, she appeared to only be as strong as Mavis was. And this wasn't practice fighting or rough housing. He wasn't going to let her win just because she was a girl or just because she was Mae.

It left a bit of a sour taste in his mouth. He didn't enjoy manhandling women, Mae in particular. He could and would overpower her though, because he had no other choice. He wrapped his hand around her wrist. Tight. Dean leaned in close and whispered in he ear. "Let's get out of her right now Red."

"Don't you want a drink first?" Her hands slid up and down his chest, over his shirt. It wouldn't have surprised him if she tried to undress him on the spot. This thing that had its hold on Mae certainly knew how to get a certain type of man to follow her anywhere she wanted. It probably had no trouble finding victims.

"I have something much more interesting back at the motel." He tested her a bit, making sure that the thing in her knew that it wasn't a trap. At least he hoped that was the was the message that was conveyed when he ran his hand up the back of her bare thigh. It was a little more overt than he normally would have gone for in such a public setting. She responded with another searing kiss.

Dean pulled away to take a breath. "Thought you were mad at me, sweetheart."

"I can be mad if you want me to be."

"That's not what I mean."

"I'm not mad at you baby. Do I seem mad?"

"No, you seem drunk." It was a convenient enough lie. He wasn't sure if the thing possessing his girl knew that he knew she wasn't Mae. He didn't know if it had any access to her memories. He didn't know exactly how much this other entity knew about him, about who they were, or what they could do to it. He had no idea if Mae was awake in her own body while this thing controlled her or if she was blissfully out of it. Her responses were off just enough. She didn't seem to remember anything when she came out of it but that didn't mean much ultimately.

"Don't talk." She said. It was a hot whisper against his ear that made his blood boil. He had never wanted to be able to act on the promises and innuendo they were exchanging, verbally and physically .

This Mae had no idea what she was talking about and if the real Mae was just as out of it. He grabbed her arm, his fingers gripping her soft flesh tightly. He pulled her towards him with an almost brute force. "Fine then. You're comin' with me."

She smiled, an un-Mae smile. "Oh so you wanna be the tough guy now?"

"I just know what I want. Let's get out of here."

Dean lead her out of the bar, keeping a tight hold on her arm and one on her should. He never would have help her so tightly if he knew what was coming next. Despite his fight to remind his body that he was still dealing with some kind of monster, even if it were a monster in a pretty suit, he was keeping his mind sharp. She was dangerous. Because he still had to get her back to the motel, he weighed his options. At some point, she'd strike and he had no idea how long he could genuinely control her. If he was actually in control right now.

She stopped him in the parking lot to shove her tongue down his throat again. It was becoming more aggressive and a more than a little disturbing. He could feel her trying to draw on his energy now. However, he didn't feel any effects from it. He didn't feel paralyzed or like he'd go unconscious. He just felt weirded out. He took the opportunity to slip his hand in to the small pockets of her skirt. At least, he though, his luck was going his way in this aspect when he found his keys.

He had to fight off her advances but he did make it back to the Impala. Dean plotted out his plan of action on the way there. Dean prayed that this would be one of those things that Mae didn't remember. "Sorry about this Red." He was reluctant but he didn't pull the punch when he hit her and thankfully, it knocked her out. He didn't trust the thing possessing her enough to leave it at that. He grabbed some rope and a bandana from the trunk and proceeded to bind and gag her.

Dean couldn't go quite as far as stuffing her in the trunk and he was abundantly grateful that no one saw him take her hostage. But that meant that he and Sam would have a very pissed of spirit or entity that was possessing her on her hands. He called his brother, letting him know that he now had Mae tied up in the back seat and that they needed to figure out the next steps in keeping her safe and making sure this thing was taken out of commission.

* * *

><p>It was blissfully dark at the motel and the upkeep was such as to leave a smattering of lights out in the parking lot. He backed up the Impala in front of their room. With everything they were dealing with, he didn't need to answer any questions about bringing in a bound and gagged woman to a motel. His brother was waiting outside for him as he backed his baby into the parking space in front of their room. He was reluctant to bring her back to her room because there might have been something in there that was allowing this possession to take place. So he took her to their room.<p>

Mae was coming too and as anticipated, she was fuming. The brothers however, managed to take her squirming, struggling form out of the car together without either of them getting kicked or headbutted. Sam wore gloves out of an abundance of caution and the plethora of bare skin she still showcased.

Dean's expression was set in a grim line of worry and determination. Unfortunately, Sam didn't have answers for the older man and he desperately wished he could give him something more to work with, some sort of sliver of hope or any definitive direction to send his brother. But all he had were guesses and the couple of hours he'd had to find something had not been enough yet.

Mae was still at risk. As much as he wanted to help relieve the burden this placed on his brother, he wanted to make sure the young woman he'd grown up with too was safe. The only thing he knew for sure was that neither of them would give up.

"What should we do with her?" Sam asked.

Dean shook his head. "I was hoping you might be able to tell me."

"Sorry."

"Well then I have an idea. I can handle her."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. She doesn't seem to have any effect on me so it's probably better this way."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna try to get Mae to take over."

Sam nodded and while he was reluctant to leave his brother alone, he knew he could pinpoint what was doing this to Mae in the meantime. The woman had not kept her displeasure quiet but fortunately for both men, Dean's original assessment that whatever was possessing Mae was no stronger than the woman herself. And she was at a distinct disadvantage in her current possession. In addition to her physical struggling, she also delivered some muffled choice and colorful phrases, suggestions of where they could go and what they could do when they got there, and a number of descriptions of how she was going to kill them. It would have been almost charming if Mae was aware of the things that were spewing forth from her mouth.

When Sam let go over her legs, Dean repositioned himself so that he could wrap his arms around her body, over her arms and lifted her off her feet. "Don't worry Sammy, I've got this."

He did seem to have the redhead under control for the most part and he didn't doubt that Dean could take care of himself. With another curt nod, he went back to Mae's room, where he had already been camped out. That left Dean and Mae together. Because it seemed like things were under control when Mae was awake, Dean was going to make sure that she was the one in control of her body and mind again.

He had enough of an idea about the MO of this thing and he couldn't spend more time babysitting her when they needed to get to the bottom of things and kill it. He needed Mae to help him out by taking the wheel. Since knocking her out didn't seem to have that desired reaction, he was going to try something else.

Dean kept his hold on her while he made his way to the bathroom. Before she could say anything more or fight him or make another incredibly overt pass at him, he pulled back the shower curtain. Her movements were still restricted by the ropes around her wrists, arms, and feet. He turned on the water, cold as possible and shoved her under the cold stream.

A shriek was pulled from her lips followed by a gasp of shock. But then she froze. He still held her thre under the water until her eyes returned to normal. They had been someone clouded and unable to focus. He thought it might have been the darkness or the bar but her pupils had been dilated. They shrank back, giving way to the steely gray he was used to.

Once again there was shock but this was confusion. Her eyes darted while she tried to figure out just where she was. He saw the wheels spinning in those few seconds as she realized that she was in the shower, clothes, tied and standing there with Dean. Now, she was just cold, wet, scared, and angry. Her breath came in pants but the rather bewildered and frightened expression on her face was reassuring in some way. Before she could even curse him, Dean reached in, turning the water to hot for her.

"Dean! What the hell?!"

He couldn't explain why his temper flared then. He though it was possible that it was a cathartic kind of reaction. He wasn't mad at her but he was frustrated. Because she was starting to panic, he untied her as quickly as possible.

"Clean yourself up."

* * *

><p>Dean left her in the shower to do whatever she needed to do, assured that Mae was once again in control. This had been a hell of a night, he thought as he stripped out his wet and now cold clothes. At least now, she knew his name. He wasn't sure what she was going to call him once she was out of the shower now and he wasn't looking forward to it.<p>

Some of it was probably well deserved, he knew. He'd taken advantage of her state and even if he could defend it to himself because he knew he was doing it to save her, he couldn't defend how much he like parts of it. He didn't like the way things transpired but if they were both themselves, he probably would have let hormones take over.

He hoped that she understood. He felt a little too paranoid to go next door and get a fresh shirt he just turned down her bed, slipped off his boots and put on fresh, dry clothes. There wasn't much left for him to do. He couldn't go help Sam and he was too paranoid to leave her any more alone than this. There were no windows in the bathroom so the only escape was through the door and he was pretty sure he could take her.

Because he needed to channel his energy somewhere, he turned on the TV. He wasn't watching anything in particular but he didn't feel like sitting in complete silence with her just a wall away, not knowing if the woman in the room war really the woman he thought she was. He was more focused on the sound of running water, feeling his adrenaline spike when it shut off. Dean was ready to strike if she turned out not to have come to her senses from the cold jolt in the shower.

He was pretty sure the woman who'd emerge would be Mae, alive and well and abundantly confused but Mae none the less. As much as he wanted and needed her to be safe, there was a small and petty part of him that knew the fight was easier to deal with instead of dealing with the way he truly felt about her. And he was incredibly aware of just how right she was in her assessment of him. It was disconcerting how she seemed to know him to his core. He knew he'd never have that again and that pushing that away could be a huge mistake.

The door edged open a bit. Not enough for him to see in or really even for her to come out. A thin wall of steam escaped.

"Hey, guys?" She sounded like herself again, he thought, maybe a little shaken up. "Do you think one of you could get me something to wear or lend me something?"

He hadn't had a plan that went beyond breathing the hold of whatever was controlling her. He hadn't thought about what would happen after. She probably couldn't sit around in a towel while they solved this. As enjoyable as that might be for him, making her more uncomfortable wouldn't be beneficial to any of them. He got off the bed, went to his bag and pulled out his only pair of sweatpants as well as a t-shirt. He was quite grateful that they were clean.

"Here, these should fit you." He said back at the bathroom door.

Mae opened it wide enough to poke her head out. She cast her gaze down at the clothing Dean was offering out to her. She hadn't been expecting him to bring his clothes but at the moment, she was happy to have something to put on. The gesture brought a light to her face. She smiled when she looked back up at him, only because his head was turned to the side, trying not to look at her. Mae wasn't sure if it was because of their nebulous relationship status or because of something that happened that night. Either way, it was a chivalrous move that was striking to her.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

"Um, I'll get you some shoes in a little bit. Right now Sam is checking all your stuff to make sure…it's okay."

"You must be really worried to give up a chance to rummage through my panties."

She was right, he was. But he also realized something about the way he felt about her in the bar. Given the chance to have no strings sex with a woman he was insanely attracted to and one he wished he could do just that. But it wasn't her. She wouldn't remember and he'd feel even guiltier. More importantly, he realized that wasn't the only way he wanted to be with her.

It was a discordant feeling for him. It wasn't like anything he'd gone through before. Even with Mae. There had been an odd shift and he couldn't pinpoint where it had taken place or when. Being with her was less about sex and more about having a friend who accepted him. He loved her. He knew he loved her, knew he was in love with her but he didn't realize what that truly meant.

"Just get dressed, okay?"

He was the one who closed the door behind him. Whenever he stopped joking and turned amusingly serious, she knew she'd hit close to home. Mae only wished it hadn't been an off-hand comment about her underwear that did it. He had the same effect on her too. It didn't have the same result but his casual and heartfelt actions always seemed to make her feel safe. In fact, despite not knowing what had happened, knowing that Dean was there with her, for her made her feel like things would be okay. It wasn't rounded in anything but that way that only he could make her feel; vulnerable but protected. That was the whole reason being with him scared her.

But at the same time, she was incredibly grateful that he was here with her. She dressed, only lingering a moment longer to smell his shirt. That too was another thing that she found surprisingly comforting. She could pretend, if only for that instant, that everything was painfully normal. She was just borrowing her boyfriend's clothes and they were spending a perfectly boring night together. It was a lovely but fleeting idea and it evaporated the second she opened the door again and walked out in to the motel room. His attention was drawn to her when he heard the door squeak open.

"How's your head?" He hadn't taken in place back on one of the bed and she assumed that he had been pacing back and forth as he waited for her. Her heart fluttered just a bit, knowing that he was so worried about her. That was concerned her a bit as well because he didn't worry for no reason.

She cocked her head, eyebrow arched. "I haven't had any complaints yet."

Dean chuckled a bit but let his eyes run over her lean form. To his great surprise, he found her more appealing this way. No pretense, no illusions. Not that she didn't have some delightful attributes when she was showcasing high sex in heels and make up but that freshly scrubbed, comfortable but oversized clothes, his clothes, adorable bare feet, and damp hair that curled as it dried. "Good to know, I guess, but I meant…"

"I know. I'm fine." Pressing her hand to the side of her face, she winced, "A little sore."

"I uh, I didn't want to hurt you but I kind of…."

He was genuinely upset about his actions. It shouldn't have surprised her but for some reason, it did. "It's okay. I'm sure if I remembered it, I would have supported you doing what you needed to do. Do you wanna tell me what I did?"

"So you don't remember kissing my brother?"

Her already big eyes widened to comic proportions. "No. You're fucking with me right? I did not kiss Sam."

"Not exactly but you did jump him and try to sap his energy. Or whatever is in you." Dean wanted to comfort her or provide some sort of physical support because he found her a little too tire, too pale, and too thin. She wasn't about to fall to pieces he knew but it was often the most difficult thing to deny his instincts continually when he was around her.

"I don't think it's in me."

"Well, I'd beg to differ, having seen you in action."

"I'm not saying that it's not controlling me somehow but I don't think it's with me all the time. It feels like it's not here." As she'd pointed out to the boys, she'd had some experience, more than either of them, when it came to being possessed. This didn't feel like that. It was something she hadn't ever encountered. Mae took a seat on the edge of one of the beds.

"Not in you?"

It was an expected response coming from Dean and she had to admit, it made thing seem somehow normal. "Your double entendre is not going to help things here."

"Yeah I guess." He stayed standing, watching her as he crossed his arms over his broad chest. "You know, you're a much better kisser than whatever is possessing you."

"According to your brother."

Dean felt oddly gratified by the sarcasm in her voice. "No, you actually did kiss me. Kind of a lot. It was pretty hot, not great but..." he smirked, more to himself than her at the memory, "I think it was probably more about how hot you are. But you, the real you, are a much better kisser." Mae frowned. "Hey, Red, I'm kidding, you know. It was just part of the job."

Her smile didn't return and he knew that she was questioning what she had done, what he'd done, and if she could trust him. He just knew that was running through her head. "Part of the job?"

With a weary sigh, Dean took a seat on the other bed across from her. "Yeah, I had to get you back here in one piece and she was willing to go with me as long as she thought I was some love sick moron so I went with it. If there were another way, I would have gone with that. Don't be pissed off with me over that."

"I'm…" Her eyes closed and it was impossible to read her, to know how he should react.

Reaching out, he almost put his hand on her keen but pulled back, unsure how she would take the purely innocent gesture in her current state of mind. "What?"

"I'm vulnerable right now Dean. I mean, I can't even do my job properly like this and if something doesn't stop this, I'm gonna be responsible for people dying and this thing will probably kill me too. So I need you. I need you and Sam to help me. But…."

"But what Mae?"

"I don't get how we're supposed to be around each other. You confuse me. One minute you don't want to be with me, it's too hard. The next minute, you're telling me about kissing me or that you love me. I-I guess I'm just thick because I don't believe it and I don't understand it."

The sentiment filled the room and both knew that it wasn't going to go anywhere; she wasn't going to believe or understand his desire and he wasn't explaining himself to her more than he already had. While the expectation was high for both of them that this whole thing would end with a fiery clash of words and possibly bodies, it seemed odd that it was so easily dying with a whimper. The rest of their fights, her resistance, his determination all suddenly seemed so shallow and pointless.

After a few moments where silence hung heavy in the room, Dean spoke again. "So, you don't remember anything about leaving the room, going to that bar? At all? You didn't notice anything off or feel anything?

She cleared her throat. "No. Nothing, just...I just woke up here. I fell asleep in my room. The tv was on. I think Sam was still up and then I was in the shower with you with my clothes on."

"You don't remember the bar? You don't remember making that pass at me?" She shook her head. "You don't remember stealing the Impala?"

The laugh that came next was incredulous but when she realized it wasn't a joke, she pressed her fingers to her mouth. "God, no. I guess I'm lucky I only ended up in the shower. I didn't really…?"

"'Fraid so. You did do a hell of a job pickin' Sam's pocket."

I do have magic fingers." She said weakly. "But Dean…I don't…" her mouth worked as she couldn't find the words. She sat down on the edge of the bed, head in her hands. "I'm sorry."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

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><p>This time, he did touch her. He couldn't stand to see her upset in the way. Upset, feeling vulnerable and lost. He hated it. Mavis didn't deserve it and he couldn't fix it. Well, he thought, he could fix part of it and he could. softly, he pushed her hair back behind her ear before his hand came to rest on her cheek for the briefest moment before it settle on her shoulder.<p>

Her eyes opened at the contact, too tired and sad for his liking. Suddenly there was too much room between the two beds, between them. The pair sat on opposite beds, knees pointed towards each other in the gap that separated the beds. Finding himself in this situation with her was still so strange to him. Knowing that he couldn't be the knight in shining armor that he wanted to be for her disappointed him. He didn't know if she saw it the same way but even after everything they'd been through, he still wanted to be able to safe her from something.

And Dean realized he couldn't be with her and not be with her at the same time. It was just as difficult for him as it was for her and at the end of the day, it wasn't worth it. He would have gladly accepted the punishment if it didn't hurt her too. "It's alright. I was actually more worried about you."

"Me? Not your girl? So while I was out hell froze over too?"

Her disbelief brought a half smile to his face. After all, his car was his car and he'd only recently rebuilt the thing. She'd helped him but even as much as that mattered to him, Mavis's well being was more important. "I'm serious."

Mae ease away from him now. not that she didn't like or even need the touch but it's wasn't a good idea. "Me too. I've never pretended to be on the same level as your baby Dean. I'm sorry."

"It's really okay, considering. You're also kind of forgetting that I had to take your car to go find you. But I got 'er back, now all I've left is to worry about you because you're my girl too."

It wasn't what he meant to say. The way he realized it slipped out didn't escape her either. The fact of the matter was he meant it. No matter what their status was, she was always going to be his girl. No matter if they were together or not, she would always hold a unique and special place in his heart. "Dean… that's not useful…"

He knew he was walking a fine line. He knew he was being inconsistent and he knew that he what he really wanted was to have nothing to do with her romantically, he wouldn't follow this course of action. He wouldn't talk to her the way he did or let himself indulge in any of the things he did. But he decided, he was too far gone now.

He knelt down in front of her and tilted her pixy chin towards him. Indulging ever so slightly, he ran his thumb over her lips. "Okay so tell me anything you remember about tonight, about before you called me. Tell me everything. I can't do my job worth dick if you're not honest with me. I need you to tell me everything, everything that you've done that might have resulted in a spirit or some other entity being able to get it's hooks in you."

God, he had a maddening effect on her. Her heart and her head would never see eye to eye with each other and now Dean seemed to be going thought something similar. Or he was just fucking with her. With a puff of breath, she pushed back on the bed and scooted back so her back rested against the headboard. She closed her eyes so she could think, trying to search her memory for anything.

"Hell, that could be a lot of things. It could be a cursed object or vengeful spirit or... something else. I don't even know where to start."

"Okay then start from now work backwards. It's not like we have somewhere else to be."

The sentiment wasn't particularly reassuring. Then again, nothing about this was. "I can't be sure. I've been distracted recently but honestly it's not like anything stands out and there's nothing new I have to tell you. Damn,

I am hungry."

It was unsettling but more or less unsurprising. "Again? Well, I'll get you somethin' to eat then, just keep talkin'."

He stood and tried to pace before deciding that he just didn't care any more and sat down next to her on the bed again. He started out on the edge with his back to her but it wasn't long before he shifted to swing his legs up on the bed until they were sitting side by side, having a casual conversation as if they were normal, boring people.

"There's not much to say. I've told you everything I know. If there's something that happened, it was so insignificant. I mean I don't even remember doing it. That's not to say that it wasn't something hugely important, obviously but I don't remember it. You tell me what you found out about me. You know more at this point than I do."

"I was afraid of that. I think we should call Bobby."

She shook her head and sighed. "God no…it's embarrassing enough that you're seeing me like this. Please don't call him. Not yet, not until… not until we run outta choices. I don't… I don't want him to see me like this."

"Hey you know Bobby wouldn't judge you." He stroked her arm with a gentle hand, feeling the need to protect her, same as he had growing up. It was more brotherly than he typically felt about her these days.

"I don't care about being judged. Hell, Uncle Bobby's seen me through most of my dumb ass choices. But he put me on this job and I don't want to make him think I can't do the job without getting messed up like this."

"It's not like you planned whatever's happening to you."

"I don't want him to worry and I don't want him to look at me and know…"

"Know what?"

"He'll have to kill me. I won't do that to him." Her voice was too quiet, too calm, all hunter. Mae wasn't stupid, she knew what any good hunter knew.

"Listen to me," He rotated so that he could take her by the shoulders,. For the briefest moment, she though he might shake her but he just held her tightly. "No one is even offerin' that up as a solution, okay? Particularly not you."

"At this point, you've actually seen what this thing does. I'm only learning about it second hand but from what I've gathered, I'm turning into...something. And we don't have a good enough idea of what it is to stop it and we don't even know if it's possible to stop it. That might leave us with one actual solution.

Dean wrapped a strong, protective arm around her and pulled her against him. She didn't fight him. Somewhat surprisingly, she even purled into him, her cheek pressing against his shoulder. "You're still human. You're still Mae." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. And then. because he was actually a bit scared that she might be right, he hugged her tightly to him. "You're still Mae."

There was that soft, sweet moment and Mae even let it hang between them for a while. There was a lot to be said about her instinctual reaction to him and how much she simply wanted to stay in his embrace. But it was too, too easy to stay there in his arms so she had to shrug out of his embrace, trying to be as logical and unattached as possible. She found his determination and utter belief in his words sparking a familiar fondness in her heart for him. A small smile touched her lips for a quick second.

"Dean, let's be honest here. I don't need to be coddled because I'm well aware of the reality of this work. There may not be any other solution here, okay? It's not my first choice either and I want us to exhaust all other options before we jump head on into offing me but...it could come down to that. I don't want to do that to Bobby and I don't know that I'll be here," she tapped her temple, "to do it myself so I need you to promise me that if that's what we have to do, you'll make sure it gets done."

He was quiet far too long and she didn't look up at him to see him shake his head.

"Dean?"

There was a grim set to his mouth and a peculiar sharp determination to his eyes. She knew he would be eager to kill her or enthusiastic about any of the repercussions of this issue but that look was almost alarming. His intensity was more than she was expecting. "I'm telling you, it ain't coming to that."

"And if it does, I need to know that you'll do the job you were raised to do. I'm not asking you to kill me. I'm asking you to kill this thing, this thing that's killing people. You have to do that."

He wasn't completely sure if it was some hugely manipulative gesture when her hand fell over his or if she was just trying to draw his attention. For a moment, he stared at her petite hand, fascinated by its feminine delicacy. It would always amaze him, he thought. Seeing her has a woman had never been difficult for him but seeing her as dainty was another thing. All the same, it had an affect on him. He sighed. "Fine. If there are absolutely no other options, I promise you I'll do what needs to be done."

"Good. Thank you. So..." her hand ghosted away from his, "What exactly did I do tonight?"

"Aside from steal my car?"

"Yeah, aside from that."

"Well, you wore this...incredible skirt," He smirked to himself as he recalled her long, shapely legs in the incredibly short skirt, longer and more pert with the high heels. "You know, the kind that the kind of girl I'd pick up at a bar, take back to a motel and forget her name...yeah, that kind is what you had on."

It made her laugh, just a little. "Okay, well, I'm fairly certain your run down of my wardrobe or its addition to your spank bank isn't going to break the case wide open for us."

"Hey, I've never seen you like that. Not long enough to appreciate it anyway. Can you blame a guy for finding the sliver lining in all this?

Shaking her head, she wondered why exactly she found him as charming as she did because from anyone else, she wouldn't have to fight back the amused twist of her lips. "It's sometimes a surprise to me that I fell for you the way I did. So what else did I do?"

More serious now, he focused back on the important parts of how he found her. "You know, I think whatever is possessing you tried to work her mojo on me the same way she did Sam. But it didn't work. I couldn't tell you why. Maybe it's because I was awake, I don't know. And...it was pretty clear that you weren't in there for what was going on. I mean, she couldn't really track the conversation and she was really trying to lure me back somewhere."

"Well...that's pretty interesting I suppose."

"She wasn't trying to convince me she was you either. I would think if it were a demon or something like it, it would try to act more like you, not just try to convince me to sleep with you."

"Yeah well if it knew any thing about you or me at all, it would know that wouldn't really take any convincing."

"Hey, I'm not just some pretty face and a body that won't quit."

He was over doing, Dean knew it. And she would pick up on it. Hell, she might even think that he thought things were hopeless but that wasn't exactly the case. He wasn't giving up on her but God, if he didn't want something with her to be filled with a little less tension.

If she had taken note of it, she didn't say anything about it. She only nodded and focused back on the case. "That might be good news. It rules out most demons I think."

"And you can see it in your eyes, like you're not all there. There's no life in them Red. I mean...maybe no one would see it if they didn't know you but...I could just look at you and see it."

Wondering what precisely had happened between that was something that could potentially drive her insane. She trusted him, didn't believe that he wouldn't do anything to her while she wasn't all there, particularly when he knew it. But knowing that there was such a strange intimacy to all this made her worry on some level that she couldn't name. If they weren't split up right then, maybe she wouldn't have thought twice about his description of her.

"I'm guessing the average drunk you'd pick up in a bar probably wouldn't pick up on that. It seems to only happen when I go to sleep though. Maybe it's not strong enough to take me when I'm fully conscious."

He grew silent, deep in thought. "Maybe it needs to rest during the day because I haven't seen anything near you that might be influencing you."

"We haven't exactly been looking. Shit, it could have been a cursed or haunted object and who knows how long ago I came across it."

He looked at her sharply now. "Are you telling me this isn't the first time it's happened?"

"No, nothing like that. At least not that I remember. I can't exactly say I haven't seen any strange things lately but you know, nothing that stands out to me."

"I feel like we're going around in circles, babe."

"I'm sorry I brought you into this."

Dean elbowed her arm lightly. 'Now that's just stupid. I can't think of anyone I'd want to help more or anyone who could figure this out with you. And I know Sammy feels the same way. I gotta think that if we didn't go our separate ways, this wouldn't have happened."

Her impulse was to break down his statement but she knew it wouldn't get her anywhere. At least it wouldn't get her where she wanted to get with him. Taking a much needed deep breath, she raked both her hand through her hair. "God, I wish this was just as simple as us needing to sleep together to set things right. On a lot of levels."

"Yeah, if only that were a foolproof solution to all our jobs. But you know...despite your obvious physical appeal, you're much hotter when you're more than just a good body."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning possessed you would have totally let me bang her. Or at least let me get pretty close before killing me. But it wasn't you and that's what mattered."

"Well I can't seem to give it away with you, one way or another." She muttered.

"That's not-that's really not the problem."

"And I could know that how?"

"I don't think we want to go down this road, okay? Just-it's not because I don't want you. I want you too much to just screw you."

Mae gave a little snort of a laugh. "Now you're scaring me."

"C'mon Mae. I just...don't think that it wouldn't be easier for me if I could see you as just another girl. I don't think hooking up is really a good idea considering the fact that we both have feeling for each other. It wouldn't stay casual and I don't think I'd want that either. Blame Sam for putting these monogamous thoughts in my head but I can't imagine sleeping with you and it not being a meaningful thing. So just because I probably could have screwed you without you knowing and with very little effort but...I don't like the idea of getting something under the radar just because I can."

She was certain that she wouldn't understand him at all now. How could she? They were a perfect match, she thought, because they ran perplexingly hot and cold with each other. They'd had that all too short moment when they were on the same wavelength and she supposed that it meant more to her than she has been willing to admit to herself. "So you're saying you want me to remember?"

"Yes," He also had to fight the impulse to lean in and kiss her. They'd both be undone if he did that. "I want you to remember every second you're with me."

"I'm special?"

It was almost impossible for him to understand why she couldn't see exactly what she meant to him, who she was to him. In spite of everything that had gone wrong between them, she didn't seem to know that if he wanted to, he could have walked away and never seen her again. That was easier for him."Very."

"Lickin' the windows special or pedestal special?"

"More the second one."

She took a deep breath, rolling her shoulders. "Jesus. Then…why aren't we together?" She hated asking again since she'd asked him one to many times for her liking and she knew what his answer was going to be. It was never the real reason and she wasn't sure if maybe this time she had let herself believe that he would give her a straight answer. But she knew he wouldn't. "No, you know what, never mind. Forget I asked. It's stupid and I've asked too many times. I don't know why I think I'm going to get a better answer."

"Mavis…" He knew she hated being called by her full name the same way his brother hated being called Sammy but there was something more personal, more intimate about being able to call her something other than a casual name, "It's not stupid. I've been asking myself the same thing. More since we've been here."

"And…?"

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><p>AN-Yes, I'm being evil with a mid conversation cliffhanger. So, if you want the next chapter sooner, leave a review!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Just a reminder, this picks up directly from the last chapter!

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><p>Her last word, a deceptively simple question hung in the air. He gave her the only answer he could. "And…I still don't have a good answer for you. Not one that makes sense when I start saying it out loud."<p>

"Liar. You're not doing this because you don't know why. Just fucking tell me. You pushed so hard before. You made it seem to me like you wanted us together because you felt like we were supposed to be together. You got me to believe it and…" She closed her eyes, trying not to sound as desperate as she felt like she sounded. "I mean if you just wanted a fuck buddy, that would have been easier. We could have just hate fucked until we got tired of each other. And it wouldn't have hurt as much." She sniffed a bit and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. "Shit…I'm a mess Just an absolute mess."

His hand hovered over her shoulder as if he might touch her but couldn't. He wanted to, so much that he ached with the desire to feel even the warmth of her body through the well worn tee. He wanted to feel the softness of her skin against his. But he knew that even if this were the time, it would be his downfall. If he hadn't already fallen too far down that hole with her. "Me too. Me fuckin' too, Mae."

"No, I mean literally. I'm half crazy and almost in tears over breaking up with you. That's just not who I am except for when I'm around you. You make me feel so stupid sometimes, you know? You're the only man who can make me feel like some stupid girl. I don't even know how to keep my defenses up like I normally would and it leaves me like an open wound."

He studied the lean hunter for a moment. She had pulled her legs up, sinewy arms wrapped around them and her chin resting on her knee. That wild red shock of hair, covered most of her face from his inquisitive eyes. "I—it's not you, okay?"

"Oh Jesus Christ. Are you seriously feeding me an 'it's not you, it's me' line?"

"No. I mean, it is me but… have you ever considered that maybe you shouldn't want to be with me. I get that we have this bond and everything but maybe I'm not the one you should be with. Maybe you were right from the start. Maybe we shouldn't be together just because we were once."

She cocked her head to the side, eyebrow raised. "Duh. No one should want to be with you. Or me for that matter. Because...haven't you noticed that we sort of live the 'do not do' life? We are shit candidates for the whole concept of relationships. I'm pretty sure that we have to take 'should' off the table because we don't do 90 percent of what we should do. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to come off like I'm begging you to be with me, okay? I just don't understand why you don't want this anymore. If you hadn't wanted it from the start, that's one thing but you flipped a switch on me."

He looked away from her for a second. She might not ever let this go. There was one thing she was absolutely right about. They were connected and they would probably do best to hunt down the demon together. It had taken something from them as well and there was no way that either of them were simply going to let it go. So they needed to pull it together until that was done. But it was also unfair to her, he thought. To leave her thinking what she was thinking.

"You know, you brought the idea up in the first place. And you're the one who didn't want to get too serious."

"I think that's a bit of an over reach. I didn't want to just do what you wanted to do and go where you wanted to go. I wanted to have a say and an understanding that sometimes I'd need to go back to my home. That wasn't for lack of seriousness. I was never cutting you out of that. And maybe...maybe I was scared."

"You were scared?

"Don't act like this whole thing between us isn't a big deal. It might be easier if I were someone else, if this were brand new. But we have this whole messy, nasty history together. We have a lot of dark, shadowy corners and each one is another reason for us to jut not work out. All the same, you're the first, the only boy I've been serious about."

"You were married."

"I...okay, I realize that getting married would indicate that I was serious about him but I hate to say it, it was more like a regrettable tattoo version of legal contracts. I had feelings for him, I loved him but I never should have married him."

"So...you're worried you're getting too serious with me?"

Mae shook her head. "I've been too serious about you since we first kissed." she snorted, "Probably before that. But I'm not used to feeling this way. I actually think it's worse now."

"The way you feel about me is worse now than when we were kids?"

"It makes me feel crazy. I don't remember feeling so obsessed when we did this dance the first time around. It seemed like everything clicked back then. But I don't know. I guess that's why it scares me. I have no control over myself with you."

"Well," he grinned, "that's not entirely a bad thing."

"See! See, that thing there, that possibly smarmy but absolutely charming...thing. I don't even know how to deal with it when I'm supposed to be trying to respect your desires but I'm left disarmed by your stupid charm." with a heavy huff, she flopped back against the pillows, "I guess I just need time. I need to wrap my head around this new...whatever."

Mae draped her arm over her eyes and because she couldn't see him, because he still wasn't sure what to do with this new information, he gazed at her with a goofy half smile. They could both get used to it, he supposed, if he decided to hold his ground on this. It wouldn't be easy but at least he knew they'd both be struggling with it.

On the other hand, he was crazy about her too. He'd open the floodgates wide with her and there was no stopping his feelings for her. He was just as in love with her as he had ever been, more so now. It was difficult to see her as being scare of something like a relationship with him but he was starting to understand it more now. The other striking thing about talking with her at this point was how easy it was to do just that. For her. For him. It almost seemed normal and it was strange how normal it was. Strange but somehow right.

The only thing he knew for certain was that things were not supposed to be like this between them. They weren't supposed to need to keep their guards up around each other, not any more. Even if they were only sticking to hunting, this wouldn't serve them well.

The one thing that she'd said that spoke the most to him however was that they shared something that seemed exclusive to being together; he wasn't able to keep up his defenses with her either. It seemed like they had no choice to be anything but themselves with each other. There was something about realizing the places they were similar that broke through that last wall.

"You want me to level with you?"

"Yes." Mae couldn't even lean on sarcasm at that point. "I need you to tell me. Maybe I can finally feel a little less crazy." She kept her eyes covered with her arm, just in case. While Mae didn't believe his earlier assertions and didn't know if she want to hear what the truth could be, she needed know hear him say it.

He didn't. Not at first. Then he sighed heavily. "I—I'm supposed to be dead Mae. The demon, the accident…I was dead, I think. I think I was ready. It doesn't seem like last time, when you and Sammy saved me. Something happened to me and... it left me with this empty feeling. Like there's something dead inside me. And I know that dad did something that left me alive and him dead. And," he took a quick breath, finding that once he started telling her all of this, he couldn't stop, "he told me, before he died, to watch out for Sammy."

Mae could admit to herself that she tried not to think too hard about what had happened that night. Too much had happened that she didn't want to explain, knowing that those explanations would be uncomfortable ones, once she might not want to know. She'd seen and felt things that bothered her that night and she didn't want to complicate her gratefulness that Dean lived with by looking too hard at the why. He, on the other hand, seemed to have the opposite problem. "That's the last thing he told you. But you already do that. That's pretty much everything you do."

"He didn't mean it that way."

Her arm fell away from her face and her eyes widened a bit. "What does that mean? Why would you have to watch out for Sam?"

"He…he thinks—thought—it was possible that Sam could go evil and if that happened, I'd have to kill him." Dean was on the verge of tears now and he wished all of this would stop spewing out of his mouth. "And so I have all this weighing on me and...everything just feels wrong."

"Dean…"

"Did he tell you the same thing?" There was something hopeful and pleading in his eyes. "You talked to him too. Did he tell you that?"

"No." She said softly, "No, he didn't tell me anything of the sort." But she hesitated about telling him what she suspected about John's death. It was just a hunch, maybe closer to dread, but she had no proof and knew that it might feel like a low blow. It wouldn't help make anything better right now either. Mae said the only words that came to her mind. "I'm sorry."

Dean closed his eyes. A part of him had hoped she'd held some secret that would make it all fall into place and it would make more sense or that he'd feel better. He didn't look back at her when he opened his eyes, staring intently a one space on the wall. "I just don't get why the hell he'd say that to me and what the hell did he do to bring me back?"

Mae shook her head. She had a few ideas but nothing concrete. "I—"

"Well I guess it doesn't matter because he's dead and I'm alive when I don't deserve to be. And that's not what you asked me. Why did I think maybe we should break things off? I've got this unbearable guilt, Red. It just eats at me. On top of everything, I've got something gnawing at me. But being with you makes me feel almost normal and that scares me and it makes me feel worse to feel...good. I mean So I think that's why I wanted to pushed you away." He couldn't exactly look at her, unsure what she might say or more importantly what he would do. " I don't deserve to feel the way you make me feel. And I don't know that I can do what my dad wants me to do when I feel about you the way I do."

Mae sat up. She reached out to touch him but let her hand drop back to her lap. It wasn't the answer she was expecting and hadn't thought of a way to respond. "Dean, I can't tell you what anyone deserves or not. I do know that whatever your dad did, it wasn't to make you feel guilty or unhappy. He wanted you to live, not just half a life either."

"It doesn't change the way I'm feeling." He turned back to her. "I want to be with you, okay? I get that you don't believe that this was ever about the way I feel but I feel guilty about the way I feel about you. And I guess it scares me a bit." He finally admitted.

To his surprise, she smiled a little. "Like it doesn't scare me?"

"It does?"

She nodded. "Not in the same way or for the same reason but you turn me upside down, Dean, not always in a bad way but in someways that make me uncomfortable. I've made a happy little niche for myself and being around you undoes everything I've built up. That scares me but on some level, it's okay. When we're solid, it's okay that I'm not the person I try to be with everyone else. But...it's been a long time since I've...well since I've been with people who knew, who would know, if I wasn't being myself."

Once again, she pulled her legs up to her chest, assuming the almost childlike position. "But I guess there's not a lot of nice in what we do. And maybe we can't rely on taking the nice things when they come along. There's so little and we're screwed up enough to make it an uphill battle. Can't we leave things open? Like, maybe we're not 'together' together but we're not calling the whole thing quits. I just...there's a lot of things that I'm will to accept as a reason to break up but not any of the ones you've come up with, not when I get around you and I turn into a love sick school girl. I mean even while you're driving me crazy and I'm in the middle of this thing that might kill me too, I feel better just being near you. I feel safe and the only thing that sucks in this nagging tension between us."

Dean leaned into her, resting his forehead against her temple. If she could have done more than glance at him in her peripheral vision, she would have seen a rare relaxation taking over his face, despite the strangely contorted position as he sat on the bed, legs outstretched and torso turned towards her. "I...do you think it could be that easy? Just take this as it comes? When I'm with you, it doesn't feel like I have a take it slow option. I'm sort of all in or all out. You may be a love sick school girl but I think I might be a creepy stalker with you."

They found themselves sitting in silence for a long time, locked in a battle of conflicting emotions. Logic and guilt vs. love and compassion. However, it was lust that pushed him forward. Dean shifted away from her a bit so he could cup her cheek, turn her face slightly, leaned in, and kissed her. It was a gentle, sweet sort of kiss, the making of a perfect first kiss even though it was far from it. Perfect. The kiss, not the rest of the stuff they were dealing with. It was stirring and neither of them thought about the past, present, or even the future.

It was a simple thing, perhaps the most simple thing they ever did. Dean found an unexpected clarity in letting go of all of his issues with her. Mae's breath was hot against his lips as she gave a shuttering sigh when they parted. He had to suppress a little shiver. "I'm sorry. I just..." He wasn't sure how to explain it as he apologized in a low tone.

"It's okay." Mae whispered back.

"You really are a much better kisser than that thing borrowing you body."

"Well aren't you luck to get to kiss so many women who look like me."

"Yeah." he grinned, as they connected again, resting their foreheads together.

"Okay...are we just...is this just because I'm feeling vulnerable?"

"I don't think so. I'm...I guess I am too. You know, not in the girly way."

"No, never in the girly way." She said sarcastically.

"I do love you."

"We need to walk this back if you're saying all this and you still want to put some distance between us."

"Jesus Mae, I don't know any more."

"Me either. Which is why I think maybe...this isn't the time or the place for this."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right. Seemed kind of like the right thing."

"You don't even know that I'm myself anymore."

"Believe me, I can promise you're you right now. Nothing could act this well."

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><p>AN- Hopefully I didn't torture you faithful readers too much (or Mae and Dean for that matter!) Thanks for reading so far! I truly appreciate your comments and feedback. More comments = more chapters because love= love!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

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><p>Dean licked his lips. The taste of her was insanely addictive. This might have been the most difficult part of being with her. It was hard enough trying to keep his feelings to himself around her, something he never thought he'd have an issue with, but then there was the overwhelming attraction. That had been easy to fight at first. Now that they were close, vulnerable, and more than a little stressed, it was nearly impossible to not feel that primal draw.<p>

He indulged in one last kiss, more heated. His fingers played in her hair as he enjoyed the sheer sensation. It wasn't a scientific approach but he was dead certain that nothing could mimic the way she kissed. When they parted, the sigh she gave was one of whimsy rather than disappointment. Her head lulled to the side a bit, resting in the hand he held against her cheek. Hers came up to cover it as her eyes drifted closed.

"Damn," he said, "I really with this could be solved with sex now too because... God, I want things to be different."

Her eyes reluctantly opened. He left her feeling foggy and disoriented too but it was a delightful sort of confusion. It also reminded her that this wasn't the right time to be rekindling anything. No matter how much she wanted to right then. She pressed her fingers to her lips as she eased away from him. "They aren't. And um, I'm not sure that this you and me thing isn't just a huge distraction. It's not that this hasn't been...nice, in a weird, weird way. But..."

He hated when she was right, even though he agreed. Or maybe he hated that he knew he had to stop. Stopping was bad enough. "But it doesn't change the fact that there's somethin' out there slipping you some supernatural roofie."

"So here we are."

Removing all temptation from the situation, he got off the bed. Dean wasn't thinking clearly and wondered briefly if whatever was happening to her was starting to affect him. He rubbed his surprising damp hands on his jeans before he raked his hands through his hair. "I think I should check in with Sammy, see if he found anything in your room."

"I don't think he will. I mean you saw the room. I put up all kinds of defensive measures. If… if it's getting through those…I mean, it doesn't really make sense, does it? I don't know of anything that's this inconsistent."

"Yeah. But it doesn't hurt to check."

She nodded, running her hand through her drying hair. "Dude, I am so hungry. And weirdly tired."

"Sorry Red, but I just can't let you sleep, not until we figure this out. That seems to be when this thing strikes and uh, I would really like to not have to hit you again. But we could fix the food thing. Pizza?"

She smiled a bit. "Oh, yeah."

"Well, I'll order. You, get to work on narrowing down just what could do this to a person before I lose my medal of gentlemanry."

He had seemed oddly nervous all of the sudden, she thought. These weren't particularly romantic surroundings and they weren't filled with some sort of distracting, heart pounding, adrenaline based passion. It was something else entirely. That idea fill her with a similar uneasiness too. "That so not a word."

He all put stuck his tongue out at her but refrained as he pulled out his phone. "Research. Now."

Mae didn't typically chase after that fleeting feeling of flattery from having a distracting influence on a man, this time, with Dean, it was a little more gratifying. She wasn't trying to get him worked up and she certainly wasn't trying to seduce him. The fact that she could while dressed up in his oversized, shapeless clothes and a confusing mess. She didn't feel particularly beautiful or alluring. That he still did thrilled her a bit.

It scared her too. After all, while she had never believed that he had stopped loving her, the reality of that, the permanence was something she'd not quite considered. She had always assumed that Dean was always going to be the love of her life but she hadn't really thought about what it would be like to actually have him in her life of an extended period of time.

Even with Dean, even when they were young and stupid and in love, there had always been an unspoken understanding that it wasn't permanent. They were always desperate and eager for the time they spent together but there was always another job to do and John always came to take them away. The idea of being together for more than a few weeks or months at a time was more of a fantasy. But now, now they had that opportunity.

All of that became disarmingly clear in that moment as she watched him. What a pair they were, she thought. Maybe it really was for the best if they both went their separate ways. Maybe the fear they both had nagging was a sign that they should listen to. It was the first time she'd seen it this way, seen things the way he might have been seeing them. Now wasn't the time to focus on this. But it made sense in a strange way all of the sudden.

"What?" Dean asked, after order their late night food fix, and catching her staring at him. It wasn't the stare that bothered him but the oddly pained look on her face.

"Nothing."

"Okay. Weirdo."

"I'm having trouble concentrating."

"Because we…?" He wasn't sure how to describe anything that had gone on between them. He wasn't even sure that he wanted to least it totally ruin whatever peace they had attained.

"No, not entirely. I just…I can't wrap my head around this and I should be able to. It's not hard. There are enough pieces and I…it's almost worse than whatever's happening to me."

"You're worried about not being able to focus when you just asked me to kill you if things took a bad turn?"

"If I can't figure it out, things will turn bad so yeah."

"Okay, just take a breath. You are one of the best hunters I know and you're smart as a whip. We'll figure this out."

"You don't know that many hunters."

"Is that helping?"

"No, not really. The kiss kind of calmed me down but is…counterproductive."

Dean very much wished that it was possible to make up right then. It was selfish. He figured even if Mae was interested in him too. He also knew that it was possible that following that particular course of action, put them both at risk. Just because whatever was trying to possess her didn't seem to affect him the first time, it was no guarantee that he'd be safe in another encounter. He cleared his throat. "Yeah I have that effect on women."

Mae smirked. Having Sam and Dean here wasn't as bad as she had originally thought. Having help probably meant that this wouldn't end as badly as it would have otherwise. And Dean was unusually comforting. "I'm sorry. This is all just…too much. Anyway…" She shook her head as she got up off the bed. "Sam's not going to mind it I use his laptop, right? Because all my stuff is under quarantine it seems and…I don't have any of my books."

Cocking his head to the side, he realized something about the young woman. "That's it, isn't it? No books."

Her forehead crinkled. "I like books."

To his surprise, he found the quirk incredibly endearing. "You are so weird."

"Well, I have other skills."

"I don't doubt it."

"I'm not gonna find a lot of weird porn here, am I?"

"Are you looking for weird porn?"

Mae crossed her arms over her chest expectantly. Yet another endearing look. He was playing a dangerous game, regarding her so fondly when what they really needed was more distance and objectivity.

"Snoop at your own risk, Red."

If was hard to tell if he was kidding or not. Chances were, she reasoned, that he wasn't. Although, she wasn't particularly interested in snooping, least she find something that would make her look at Sam differently. She wasn't as worried about what she would discover that Dean was into. That wouldn't be too much of a surprise. Plus, figuring out what was hunting her was more important. She realized that Dean was right about one thing, she was more comfortable with her books. It helped her organize her thoughts.

She needed something like that right then. Pen and paper was her best bet. To begin her hunt, she started listing possible suspected entities that had the abilities and M.O.s matching her case. There were a few candidates that she could think of off the top of her head, not of them were an exact fit but there was always some wiggle room in most of the lore.

Working from her short list, she pulled up the information she could find on readily. There were of course some more esoteric sources they could delve into if the basics failed them. Of course, there was no knowing what her time table was on when this mystery entity would strike again. After a certain point, she wouldn't be able to stay awake. Maybe the boys could figure out a way to keep her secured and frankly, she didn't really want to know what would go into it.

Dean left her to her own devices, knowing that if she needed or wanted help, she would say something. Her almost compulsive behavior right now might help her calm and focus. Otherwise, it was best for him to leave her be and let her thing. He was no slouch at research but she and Sam were a little better at this part. He was on defense anyway. If this wasn't a spirit or monster or some sort of demon, it could be a person and that left them a little more vulnerable. As he was fond of pointing out, people didn't have the same rules creatures did.

He called Sam, checking on his progress. His brother wasn't cutting any corners on this one, going through her things meticulously. He wasn't letting anything slip through the cracks if he could find anything that seemed like it could have bound a spirit or attracted one of the many and sundry creatures they played with. It wasn't that Mae had so many belongings with her but Sam wasn't about to let something slip through the cracks on this one.

After about twenty minutes, Mae leaned back in the chair. "Hey, can I run something by you?"

"Shoot." Dean grabbed the chair, turned it backwards and sat astride. He folded his arms along the top of the back and rested his chin on his forearms.

"So this thing, it seems to be draining people's energy of life force or something."

"Spiritus vitae."

Mae's eyes narrowed momentarily as she shifted her eyes over to him. "Yeah...okay." she said after a pregnant pause. "So it's like some kind of vampiric creature . I can't tell if it's feeding off mine or just using me for the time being. I think we all would have noticed if I'd been turned completely. And there are vampire-like creatures in all the lore."

"Right, things that'll steal someone's energy...spirits, creatures...whatever, but we already figure that." He snapped his fingers, "Yeah, the Wili are supposed to be some kind of succubus. And I think I read something about a vampire pumpkin legend once."

Again, his comment merited him a confused and skeptical look. "But there are a few here and there that used to be people or take human form to do it. The Civatateo are said to have been noblewomen who died in childbirth, returned to earth all jacked with other spooky powers and hunt down travelers. Um, or a kumiho."

"Well, I'm pretty sure you didn't die so what was the other thing?"

She thought she had stumbled on something as she talked out her suppositions with him. "It's something I remember from one of Bobby's old books. They're these nine tailed foxes that transforms into a girl who then..."she sighed, feeling a bit ridiculous for not having posited out these ideas, "seduces men in order to kill them."

"And they possess people too?"

"I don't know. I've never run into one before and honestly, I'm working off an old story I remember from a book in Korean."

"Well, it's something to go on. So how do we kill a kumiho?"

Mae opened her mouth and then closed it. The parts she remember about the lore hadn't been exact clear but she wasn't sure there was a good way to kill it. "I've got to call Bobby. Maybe he can dig that book up again."

This time it was Dean who had to hesitate before saying anything. "Speaking of which...I called Bobby."

Her face fell. He hoped there would be anger, considering the alternative was the hurt he saw there now. He hated seeing that look. "After I explicitly asked you-"

"No. No, before that. Before we talked about it. I just-I thought he could help. I know he can help."

"Dean...You," She huffed, "you had no right."

"I'm not about to throw away any advantage we might have in fixing you. I sure as hell don't plan on letting you die, one way or another. So even if you had asked me before I did it, I would have probably still done it."

"That's pretty low."

"No, it's just the way it is. You're letting you ego get in the way Maes. I mean, I get your point but do you think for one second that if it comes down to it that I'm gonna make Bobby kill you? I promise that's not what's going to happen. So...you can be pissed at me but it's all already happening."

She frowned but she didn't protest. "You know, you could have told me before..."

"Before we talked like normal people? Because you would have rather been mad? Like I would have been able to get you to cool down enough to tell me anything before? C'mon Mae, I'm not new here."

Her eyes cast away from his now. "It's not that. You just could have told me."

"Yeah. I could have. I didn't. Listen, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." She didn't respond and he hated that it annoyed her the way it did. "Okay?"

"Yeah, okay." If there was anything more she was going to say, it was lost to the knock on the door.

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><p>Author's Note: I'm sticking pretty close to the lore for now but will deviate a bit in the upcoming chapters. As always, I appreciate feedback and reviews. I'll post quicker the more I get. *hint, hint*<p> 


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